the only reason I’m not submitting this for refund is I hardly lost any credits to it. If you are going to review someone’s work, and one sentence is all you can muster… at least spell all four words correctly.
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / a moment to think about nothing.
It seems to me that humans are an extremely unlikely combination of awkward characteristics. Surely beautiful and often graceful our movements and efforts can be, but something is missing. Like a spider that makes a web, we are pressed by instinct, but to what end?
As our brains get bigger and more complex our likelihood for questioning ourselves seems to become greater as well. Yet what we do with that talent is most curious. With that thought in mind, the oddness begins in our dual nature and ends in our baseness. How a creature that composes music, performs mathematical equations, and builds rockets to shoot itself into space can also pick it’s nose is a pressing question that many have tried and failed to tackle.
It seems we are poised both gracefully and daringly on a razor-sharp edge, to one side is an ape and to the other is something as yet unfinished; the great unknown destination that humans could aspire to be, like Nietzsche’s Superman. If we can resist the urge to pick up a rock and bludgeon each other, manage to fight back the desire to fling feces and pound our chests, we might just be on to something great… right?
This duality doesn’t hold any truths within itself, it just is. We can no more deny it then we can rebury the bones of Homo-neanderthalensis and claim God willed it. But what of God in all this? Is God not the ultimate end to the current procession of apes-to-homosapiens? We claim that He made us in His image, but what if we made Him as a long term goal? Slowly, we replace our tiny rotating and revolving island in space with a cluttered mess of wires and microchips. What is all this information building up to if not omniscience? Why would the Egyptians build such labor intensive structure as The Great Pyramids if it wasn’t as an uncoordinated and modestly unsuccessful attempt at omnipotence? Does mans reach extend beyond his grasp or is man just grasping at thin air?
As one uses the brain given by eons of strange mysteries, a paradox soon opens which cannot be closed. If right now my thoughts are energy being exerted by the tiny conductors in my cranium, why do I consider it to be worthwhile? Any decently intelligent person is capable of guessing at how infinitesimal they are in the universe. How inconsequential any idea within that being must then be! Yet, persist on we must until we stop, and an even greater question mark that leaves.
I took a moment to consider what it would be like to no longer be, and I spent that moment in a void which could never be crossed. The feeling is that of being asked a question that simply can not be honestly answered. Want that feeling now? Ask yourself this question, “What is it that I am not thinking of?” Take a moment and really search for an answer. Man is just ill-equipped for such quandaries, but supremely adaptable. In a moment the feeling is gone, the sucking hole in reality closes and life proceeds. Such abilities, and the opposable thumb, are proof that survival of our species wasn’t governed by chance.
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ash000986 reviewed Version 1 -
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“Persist on we must until we stop” ... besides being a disorienting line, grammatically speaking, stop what? Existing? It’s poor diction.
“A paradox soon opens which cannot be closed” ... here you treat the word ‘paradox’ as if it were some kind of portal into another dimension. Again, poor diction.
I could go on, but I think you get the point. You’re trying way too hard to be profound, but there’s no real insight here.
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Geminirose reviewed Version 1 -
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That really had me thinking, the part about as to whether God is our ultimate goal. I’ve noticed that alot of us have a superiority complex somewhere in our heads. Anyhow, I really enjoy reading philosophical inquiries. Thanks, and good work.
Catastrophe reviewed Version 1 -
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“What is all this information building up to if not omniscience?”
I think subatomic physics is God’s practical joke at those who would aspire to omniscience. :)
Excellent essay; I would like to see it expanded. It borders on some of the same thoughts presented by Asimov, Bradbury, Heinlein, and Brin.
One tiny nit: “We can no more deny it then we can…” should be ‘than.’
sjvance reviewed Version 1 -
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As our brains get bigger and more complex our likelihood for questioning - need commas after “bigger” and “complex”
well. Yet what we do with that – comma after “yet”
Okay, I like this, it makes me think (which today is not an easy task)
My favorite part is the person who can compose music, build rockets and also pick his nose! Made me laugh, because I’ve never thought of nose picking in that context before. Good job.
Mortimer reviewed Version 1 -
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You touched on a few really deep things, and I thought you had something there in suggesting that the concept of God or divinity is in a way a goal, subconscious for the entire species. But then your last paragraph, and even the second to last to a lesser degree, seemed to come to a conclusion that did not connect to what you had discussed up until that point. You had been musing on the evolutionary path and what the next step or the ultimate result is, then you touched on the insignifance of ideas in a single person, and finally coming to the end where you suggested that “survival of our species wasn’t governed by chance.” I’m confused where this relates to the rest of the essay, and are you suggesting intelligent design? Or merely saying that man has determined his own path?
titanicbrittanic reviewed Version 1 -
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The dry sense of humor you hold yourself through the entire piece truly makes the writing interesting; without it, the entire thing would be more white noise.
I especially enjoy the fact that you contemplate mankind’s relation to God. It was also smart to dodge actually giving your own opinion on everything concerning God; rather than give an outflat opinion that people could argue, you gave them questions which they may infer your opinion from with nothing to really grasp on to argue about.
thesnoopyone reviewed Version 1 -
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overall it was a very thoughtful and philosophical piece. I did get lost in hte 15 dollar words but I did get the gist of the blog. I think you were writing to the intellectuals in the crowd, I personally like everyday language. It was good overall, but you might do well to consider an audience of everyday people.
derekosborne reviewed Version 1 -
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This is what I think of as good blogging. In the absence of intelligent friends sitting by the pond on a summer afternoon contemplating existence, we have the blog. Since I pretty much share the same sentiment I can only criticize the form. My theory on all good editorials, blogs, etc. is that they should not exceed 500 words. If you can’t do it in 500 you’re either confused or have more than one point to discuss. My only offer would be to “Strunk” it one more time. But I’m nit picking. Nice piece.
Oubliette reviewed Version 1 -
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Okay, let’s hope I can put together the notes I’d been taking as I read this into a comprehensive review (I’m trying something new – usually I write it all in one big uncoordinated mess after reading everything.)
I’ll go over some more basic things, you know, awkward lines here or there, or ones i really like, then I’ll give a more solid opinion after.
I don’t know about using the word ‘baseness’.
Perhaps a better example than picking one’s nose could be used justaposed to the amazing and civilized feats of men. I, for one, pick my nose (with a Q-tip or tissue around my finger) because blowing my nose is more likely to cause nose bleeds (yes, I know, too much information) so it isn’t an outright stupid or uncivilized thing to do. It’s when one picks their nose and eats what accumulates on their finger afterwards.
“We claim that He made us in His image, but what if we made Him as a long term goal? Slowly, we replace our tiny rotating and revolving island in space with a cluttered mess of wires and microchips.” – These are two good sentences. I like what is being said in them, and the imagery given – it really brings to mind the modern state of things.
“Does mans reach extend…” mans should be man’s.
“Does mans reach extend beyond his grasp or is man just grasping at thin air?” – This is also a really good line. Might I add it to my list of quotes (with credit of course)? I like collecting quotes.
“How inconsequential any idea within that being must then be!” Here we start to get some awkward phrasing, mainly to do with the order of words used in the sentence.
“Yet, persist on we must until we stop, and an even greater question mark that leaves.” – Again, this sentence tripped me up a few times.
Alright, my opinion on the whole composition here is very high. You kept on track what you were trying to express, and left a lot for people’s minds to chew on (until they go numb.) I, myself, have often, as put forward in the last paragraph, tried to imagine not existing. I did a lot as a child, and even now try to, and it results in an inexpressable feeling – a sort of mental vertigo. It is as if my mind is simply warning me not to tread further on that line of thought.
Your diction and grammar were very good. You wrote in a straightforward and organized way, rather than running in circles with incomprehensible tangents (like me), and brought up a lot of points that gave the reader a moment to stop and think, but also encouraged them to move along. In my opinion anyway. All in all, a good piece of writing.
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