Lyrics / Feeding The Myth

Not bad. I question what sort of style you would put this too? I guessed acoustic rock, which I think could work well. The concept isn’t anything innovative, I’ll be honest. But that’s not always a must. You write well, a few of the lines I question the flow, but for lyrics anything can work with the right sound. The only major issue I see is that it seems this is a more traditional sort of song and the form seems to be more suited for more modern song structures. I like how you worked the title in and it has some interesting insight, just needs a tad more work in giving the piece a direction. Working out where you want to got with it.

I love the chorus and, for me, the chorus is the heart of any song. I remember it more than anything else I hear. If you have a strong chorus and are able to build around it, the rest is bound for greatness.
Great job here.

The first stanza is excellent.  The second stanza doesn’t quite meet the same standards as the first; the rhyming is too simplistic.  In the third, the third and fourth lines seem a bit off to me, mostly due to the heavy syllables required to sing in the fourth line.  It feels rushed when you get to it, like a singer would stumble over it, so I would re-word it, or simplify it.  It continues into the fourth stanza, too, so I would be careful of saying too much, where you’ve said enough to illustrate you’re point (ex. ‘wholesaled in cartoons, and mainstreamed on everybody’s tv’ is enough and it will rhyme).  Eliminate extra wording like ‘just seem to’, as well.  If you take out the first line in the third stanza, and replace it with ‘SHE doesn’t know what’s she’s missin’ cuz she’s been taught to believe’, I think it will add a nice symmetry to it.  
I like the searching aspect of this, and think it definitely has a waiting audience.  People can relate, and the idea that someone, somewhere is out there searching too, is appealing to everyone.  Nicely done.

Are you planning to use the lyrics in music. If so the song would have to be extremely slow tempo during the chorus because the words dont flow off the tongue. Other than it was great.

overall its good but need more work it needs more punchlines/rhyming everything else is good

It’s a good poetry piece, but it’s hard to read without the idea of some melody behind it… If it was meant strictly for music, I’ve always felt the need to make things match in syllables and sense.

It could sound just as well without, and I might be completely off. It was nice, overall.

If these are lyrics they are much too wordy.  Even Dylan didn’t get this much into a song.  I like it, though.  It speaks to that awkward time when we are searching for superficial ideals with little life experience and wisdom to compare.  I thought this was an OK poem until I saw you wanted a Lyric Rating

This is pretty good, I could almost hear music in my head as I am reading. Keeping honing your craft, you got talent.

I particularly like the title.

These are good lyrics, deeper than a lot of the ones that pass for music these days. I didn’t really find a discernable flow though…and that’s probably my own fault.

I really like the second verse (or whatever it is). I like your use of words and imagery.

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March 03, 2008

by JIOden

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
53	92.0% (25 votes)	74.4%

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38	F	Tucson, AZ	May 24

It has an unusual beat in my head when I go over it. It’s a darker tone I notice, and a faster pace.. Very driving force as the words tumble through my mind, but then again, I’m no musician.. Sighs, I just know the flow of it through my mind.. :) Thanks for the review. Glad you like the images I was trying to portray that my son has such a problem with in the school element known as Sophmore get a date mentality. LOL.. JIO

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It’s a nice idea, and well fleshed out. The meter is irregular though; the lines get longer and longer as the song progresses. If you don’t have a basic rhythm picked out yet, it may be hard to fit one to the song. Another minor note – feathers don’t drop, they fall.