Poetry / Untitled

Hagar you ignorant fool, your devils got you on a pedal stool
You think you know the Creator well, as you worship in the pit of hell.
Esau covered like a beast, from which doctrine do you feast?
Selling your birthright for a pot of stew, if only, oh if only you knew.
Blind man Blind man, can’t you see, The Lord God can set you free.
Truth is an angel that holds the keys to loose you from your vanities.
When the Master comes what will you say, about the talent you hid away.
As you ran in merry mirth, the truth rotted in your earth?
Imaginations running wild, indeed you are the devils child…
And your Mothers the Harlot of Babylon, can’t you see what’s going on?
Mountains tremble and earths quake, when the Day makes its break.
From the depths of the mire, thrown into salvations fire.

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Reviews

February 18, 2008

Goddess2006

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
291	90.7% (75 votes)	18.0%

personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
35	F	Elmira, NY	April 17

Goddess2006 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

As far as breaking this up, I would break in the middle of each line where you already rhyme and pause. I have no title, as most of the time, I have meaning issues. I don’t know who your intended audience is, but without explanation, they may have similar issues. It feels like it needs more.