Poetry / Forever
Forever
I stopped saying forever
The day I went away
And tried to get through
The pain they always kept at bay
I remember the embraces
And all the silly faces
And every moment spent in un-subsiding laughter
I stopped saying forever
The day I had to leave
Now I’ve learned how to cry
And really how to grieve
I keep my tears and laughter
Safe in a special box
Only for me to open
And only for me to lock
I stopped saying forever
The day I was forced to go
And learned the boundaries of the heart
Won’t always be able to grow
I hold my memories oh so dear
And try not to show everything I fear
For what I must do now to me is clear
I stopped saying forever
Because I know it doesn’t exist
I know one day I’ll leave again
All those new I’ll miss
Again I’ll be all alone
In a world I’ve never known
Forced to face my fears
And fight through the lonely years
I learned the first time, that saying forever
Just caused my heart to ache
And the next time will be just as hard
And again my heart will break
But that doesn’t stop the tears
That are rolling down my face
For they aren’t here to put
The pieces back in place
I stopped saying forever
The day we were torn apart
Because growing up won’t hear
The pleas of desperate hearts
From now until forever
I know I’ll keep them dear
But I’ll never say forever
Until I have them here
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Woah there is a lot of emotion in this poem. I really enjoyed it! I don’t really like the way you are rhyming, the rhytm seems forced and the words to obvious, it might have worked better if you free versed it. I’m not one for the repeptition of a particular line ,”I stopped saying forever” but it works well in this poem, however I felt the poems flow was broken on the ”i learned the first time…” part because it lost flow and a bit of emotion to the “I stopped saying forever” repetition
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Image image image. The whole concept of your poem is the idea of forever. This is an extremely abstract topic so you’re going to need lots and lots of image to bring it to life, give it meaning in the minds of your readers and to keep their interest. You can do this through figurative language or through description, ideally both, just please please please give us image to ground this poem because you have no idea how tedious it can be to read about someones ideas without being shown exactly what they mean.
I wouldn’t be telling you this if I didn’t see some potential. So best of luck with this.
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