Stage Play / The Iron Gate
The Iron Gate
By Lauren Brooks
Set: A thick iron gate, curtains can be used as stone walls, but there must be a wall of some sort.
Lights up: on a barren, stark stage with a giant iron gate surrounded by huge stone walls, walls are illuminated from behind by multi-colored lights that give off the feeling of paradise. Two figures approach the gate, it opens and one figure goes in. the other is about to follow when a young girl enters (SR). The figure goes over to her. She is young, about 19 she is very worn and tired looking, there are blood stains on her white shirt, she holds a small gun. She looks at the figure as he walks toward her. He’s clothes are very clean. He is dressed in all black or all white.
V: Are you-Are you from there? (Nex nods)It’s beautiful over there right? I mean are there trees, like there used to be in the parks when we were kids. Are there birds too? I mean real ones that chirp and sing. And… and are there… (hesitant) is there…. Sugar? I know that sounds silly, but I haven’t had anything sweet since I was six. (Excited) Do they have chocolate?
Nex: (laughing) They have it all V. It’s Eden, it’s Nirvana, It’s heaven….. it’s paradise. It’s anything and everything you heard of it being. You should come with me. Come with me V.
V: Nex, I want to, I do, but I can’t, not without my bother.
Nex: You’d give up paradise for that kid… (V cut’s him off)
V: Hey, “that kid” is my little brother and the only thing good I have left in this world.
Nex: (Pause) I’m sorry. I know he’s important to you. I know everything. Mikey is almost 16, he can take care of himself. You were taking care of yourself and him by the time you were 13. Not to mention you had your sister…
V: (violently angry) DON’T talk about her!
Nex: (sigh) It wasn’t you fault… none of this is your fault, Del’s death wasn’t your fault either. (V takes in a sharp breath, more from pain than surprise. She takes a step back and turns, she fights very hard to keep herself from crying. She stares off SR, into the distance)
Nex: (goes and caresses her shoulders) Maybe it was too soon to bring him up.
V: hah! (pause) I want to say it is. I want to say I can’t stand the pain of losing my best friend. I want to say that it’s affected me. He died only a few hours ago, but we’ve all grown so accustomed to death by now that I’m already over it. (She walks from his grasp) I wish we could bury him, rather than just leave him out in the open, but the ground is so cold and hard….. Mikey’s still with Ray. All Ray can do is stare at Del’s body. Part of me feels just like she does feels pained, hurt, broken, desperate. Not knowing where to go from here, not knowing what to do. Numb against the world. The other part of me, the piece that has become just as cold and hard as the ground wants to go and shake her and tell her to get over it and keep moving.
Nex: There (indicates behind the gates)… there you can grieve, you can let the wall, that’s protecting you from all the hurt, down. You can feel for those you’ve lost. You can grieve for your parents, for Stacy, for Del, for Ray’s pain, and for Mikey’s lost childhood. For everything.
V: This wall is the only thing that stops me from collapsing. I built it to protect myself, to protect Mikey. The walls are so high I don’t think they’ll ever come down. It started when my parents died, but really, it got going after Stacy…
Flash Back, a section of the stage off center become illuminated, V comes on (this can either be a different actress or the same, just younger looking) she is still dirty and tired but doesn’t feel the weight of the world as much as present V does. She is sitting in the pool of light occupying herself, either by reading or counting money, some busy work, a little boy comes running on SR, he is about 10.)
Mikey: V, V Stacy-Stacy says she’s gonna do it this time, she’s serious V.
V: Oh please, Mikey she’s always doing this. She’s only 11, she isn’t going to kill herself, plus the gun isn’t loaded. I took all the bullets.
Mikey: she says she got more, she says she will, please V. I’m scared I don’t like this.
V: Mikey, everything is going to be fine, she’s only trying to get atten…(a gunshot is heard, V looks SR and jumps up from her sitting position) oh, god…. Mikey stay here. Stacy!? STACY!? (V exits SR, Mikey stares after her for a moment, then sighs and picks up the work V had. He starts sniffling already knowing the outcome.)(V re-enters SR covered in blood, she gets to the pool of light and collapses sobbing. Mikey goes over to her and sits in her lap.)
V: She…She did it. I can’t believe she did it, why…. Why? (she collapses sobbing into Mikey rocking back and forth)
Mike: It’s okay V. (Mikey looks off SR at where his other sister lays and shudders) It’s just you and me now V. Just you and me.
(During this conversation, Nex leads a small girl, Stacy, to the iron gates and pushes her through, looks at V, then exits SL). Return form flash back, Little V and Mikey leave the stage.
Nex: V everything will be better over there.
V: No, no it won’t. Del and Stacy will still be dead, Mikey still won’t talk, and Ray, Ray still won’t have a brother. You don’t understand. We have nothing.
Nex: Wrong, you have me and I will protect you, but the best way I know how is to take you over there, through those gates.
V: But you won’t take Mikey or Ray?
Nex: They’ll have each other. They don’t deserve it like you do.
V: Don’t say that, you make it sound like it’s an award for the good little children. Everyone deserves that kind of peace and happiness. If it is a prize…. I definitely don’t deserve it… I’m to blame for too much pain and hurt… and besides I’m not leaving them.
Nex: I understand not wanting to leave you brother, but what’s so important about her…
V: Mikey loves her, she’s been with us through everything and, and right now she needs him more than ever.
(Flash back 2, Del, Ray, and Mikey enter. Del meets V at center, Nex exits SL)
Ray: Mikey needs to stop.
V: Mikey? (He nods)
D: (Pulls V aside) Why don’t you trust Ray? You know she knows what he needs, what he’ thinking. Why do you always question her?
V: (sighs) Because he’s MY little brother Del. I should know what he needs, what he’s thinking. Like she can, like I can with you. (Smiling he brushes some hair out of her face)
D: Different people have different connections. Ray can’t connect with me and she’s “MY” little sister.
V: I know, he just… he hasn’t spoken in so long I, I wonder if he even can. I need to hear his voice.
D: He can speak and he will when he needs to. You need to believe in him, believe in all of us. ( he kisses her on the forehead).
V: (she settles for a moment comfortable with him, letting herself go for an instant) We have to keep going. Morsus could be back soon and as much as I want to face him, I just want to forget about all of this. Plus the air raids will be starting again soon. (Nex enters SR (it can be another actor, if double casting isn’t possible) (the actor is dressed in black, leather clothing and carries the gun that V had at the beginning of the show)
Morsus: A little late to run, PRINCESS, I’m here to finish this for good. (V cannot move; she stares him down, Mikey, Ray, and Dell are behind her Del is trying to protect the two kids.) This (indicates towards the gun) is the same piece your parents used to finish off my mother. It’s the same gun, you brother tried to kill himself with, it’s the same gun that you sister committed suicide with, and it is the same gun that I am going to murder you with. It’s been a long hard journey princess. I’m glad it will finally be over and done with. (A strobe light flashes as air raid sirens begin to go off faintly in the back ground, there are two loud gunshots. The lights come back up. Del is standing in front of V, protecting her and breathing heavy. In his hand is a pistol. Morsus is smiling; his arm is also extended, holding the original gun. The smile on his face turns into a grimace and he drops the weapon. He stumbles backward off stage just as he falls to the ground, dead. V goes over to him and picks up the gun.)
V: Oh, oh my God. You, you killed him Del. You got him. Morsus is dead. It’s over. (She goes to hug him but he collapses. Ray rushes to his side, V stumbles backward, her hand covering her mouth.
Ray: Del, Del?! (she rolls Del over onto her lap, there is a red blood stain growing across his white tee shirt, his hands are covered in his own blood. Ray starts to cry.) No, no Del. Oh god, no.
Del: (he struggles to sit up.) It’s over V. (relived) He’s dead, no more running, no more fighting, no more casualties… they lose one… we lose one. (V nods, she has begun to cry slightly). All’s fair I guess.
Ray: What! No not all’s fair. Not all’s fair at all. Fix him V. Make him better. Del we’re going to make you better. No more casualties. (Mikey goes over to her and holds her tightly. She looks at him) no, I won’t let him go, please Del. V fix him, I know you can. Save him. (V shakes her head as more tears fall down her face)
Del: I’m tired of fighting Ray, now I know you’ll be safe and that’s all that matters. I love you Ray. Mike take good care of her. Good-by kid… I love you V. (V opens her mouth to speak, but can’t. She nods)
V: Good bye Del. (he looks at her and nods. He closes his eyes, dead.)
Ray: No. Damn it, no. (she shakes him sobbing) This is your fault! You, you and your stupid need to end this war; you killed him. (she stands and steps over Del’s body)
V: (she shrugs) a casualty of war. What could I do?
Ray: (nearly screaming) you could have said you loved him; you could have held his hand. (Nex enters SL and kneels next to Del, Del takes his hand and Nex leads him through the gates.) You… you’re… you’re just… just cold and heart less.
V: (nods) I am. (Ray turns and runs to Mikey sobbing)
(Lights fade back to the wall V remains where she was standing. Nex is beside her now. Mikey, Ray, and Del have cleared off.
V: They traveled with us for four years. Now Del’s dead. Ray hates me, and I finally have the weapon that started it all. It’s taken everything from me. It only has one more use. Take Mickey and Ray with you. I’m, I’m not going. I don’t deserve that place.
Nex: I can’t I can only take one person and I choose to take you.
V: Liar. We just saw a guy walk in there with two kids. Now take my kids and go. My plan was for all of us to go to through those gates together, later, but it’s ruined and I’m tired. I need to know Mikey is safe and then I can be done.
Nex: But you could be happy. Just come with me. Mikey’s found someone to love. You’ve given so much for him. Do something for yourself and leave him here.
V: I am doing this for myself, I can’t survive without him. I’m tired. I’ve seen things that no 19 year-old should see. I’ve seen people be killed, I’ve killed people myself, I’ve watched my best friend’s life flow out of him and I did nothing to stop it. I feel like I’m 90 years old. I’m so tired. Please take them. Make them safe. Come back for me, if you can, but take them first.
Nex: Fine, but I’m coming back for you so don’t leave…. Mikey comes out half carrying Ray, she is weighed sown by fatigue and grief.) I’ll be back for you. (He kisses her lightly on the lips. V smiles)
Ray: (weakly) Mikey says we should keep going.
V: (shaking her head) not me
R: Not coming?
V: Later.
Mikey: Liar. Guess I’m the only one in the family with any hope left.
V: (nearly in tears) I… I guess so. Good to hear you Mikey. (She holds his face for a moment) I love you.
Mikey: I love you too I guess, but I’m not even sure if that exists any more.
V: Me neither.
Mikey: good bye V.
(They walk off SL. V and Nex watch them go. They look at each other. Nex sighs and nods. V runs after them. Mikey yells off stage, Ray scrams: what are, you, V…. stop (continued distress) then silence. V comes back on stage, her face and hands covered in blood.)
V: They’re ready.
Nex.: I hope this is what you truly wanted V. There’s no going back now.
( Nex walks off stage. A spot comes on down SL. V walks into the light. She looks at her bloody hands and the pistol. She watches as Nex leads the kids through the gates. She speaks as she watches.)
V: The war began when I was 10. My parents died within the first two years. My 11 year-old sister killed herself only three years later. My best friend, Del, died and I did nothing to stop it. Nex showed up and I realized there is really only one escape and he could lead me there as he had done others. (The spot moves with her as she crosses to DC) War has always been a terrible thing, some people die and their loved ones are left to suffer. But, now, war doesn’t just involve the men and women in uniform, it involves the lives of countless children and families who have their lives disrupted and bombarded by the pains of war. For some there is only ONE escape. Death used to frighten us; it used to be something that happened to the very old and the very sick, when someone who was neither died, we mourned for days, horrified that someone could be taken so suddenly. Now when someone dies it’s a statistic, just another soldier gone from the battle field. We have become numb to the pain and death that is constantly in our daily news. My best friend died and I barely felt it. How numb have I become? How immune to the pain and fear of death? Could I kill those I love and feel nothing? (she examines her hands) (long pause) But the real question is, is death the only escape?( The lights shut off and there is one gunshot. The multi colored-lights come up behind the wall and it is illuminated. There is only the silhouette of NEX leading V through the iron gates and the gates closing.
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one thing i noticed in the beggining is that it jumps up o you really fast
i like to leave the object of question in the audience’s mind
im referring to Nex’s 1st line here
i dunno just a small thing as i began reading
i dont know if you are familiar with japanese theatre but they have a stage manager that acts minor character roles n the play then performs asides to the adience filling in with bits of narration
im horrible at explaining things
but look into maybe incorporating some of those things in here
i think it would be fitting
the end was good
i like the sllohette idea
also there is a play called yellow tuesday
that makes on sense at all but it has a monologue in it that i think you’d be interested in
im a actor/director by the way
overall i think this is a good piece
some weak points that can really only be addressed on stage
the best of luck
-kyle-
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this is good. i would love to see this play in action. it is so so deep. however, u might want to think about adding a bit more flow to the scene and characters, maybe make them a bit more diverse, making sure each person has a definate personality, that could bring them a bit closer and far as the reading goes, but still let readers know their ditict attidutes and emotions.
I like how you have set up this piece. Its obvious you’ve put a lot of time into it. As far as criticisms go, i think you have too much action (most of the pieces on this site, its the opposite, too much thought) I lost count of all the gunshots. Think about it. How much more poignant would the piece be if the audience is only subjected to one, huge shot, maybe two. With how the story’s set up, obviously war and repetitive fire are important, as far as all the senseless death, but it starts to feel like we’re just listening to popcorn being heatup up in the microwave…bam, bam, bam, bam.
To improve, i’d either make the piece longer, with quieter scenes and movements added. Or, if thats not what your going for, make the gunshots much more important ot the piece. Make the gunshots huge puncuations, hugely important. Also, a lot of the dialogue seems to flow as one sentence. Vary it. How are the different gunshots different from eachother. Are they different?
Thanks for the read, i enjoyed it.
James
At the beginning you do a good job of not being to obvoius with your beackstory, but I think that you are adding a lot of names without really explaining them, or the relationship between the characters, or what exactly the war they are having is about. Why are they fighting? Is it a national war? A gang war?
You seem to have a very good sense of what is dramatic and what will hold readers. Your dialouge is good, and your stage directions and set notes seem well thought out and engaging. I particularly liked V’s ending monalouge.
Overall, this has a lot of potential, but I think that you could confuse your audience by not adequeatly explaining the intercharacter relationships.
Oh gosh…this was good, and I ain’t kidding at ALL!!!
I’m going to cry…
Okay, enough personal problems. The script was awesome, and powerful, which i like, i like the drama. I loved how after everything the character becomes alone, and he proves his point. It just seems so passionate and true and believable. Liked it.
I have to say you had my interest captivated until the point when Morsus entered. At that point unfortunately it was a downward spiral to the anti-war cries at the end. I had such high hopes. I think you can do better than this. Sometimes the best way to spread a message (such as wars are bad) is to let the audience not realize that they have just been told that something is wrong. The whole preaching at the end about how death is a tool to scare and how war is bad, is horrible writing. Of course war kills people! Of course it is bad! How dare you assume that we (the audience) don’t already know that.
Your interesting and powerful story became a message (an obvious one) and that is not going to change anyone. When people realize that they are being told how to think, they instantly reject what you have to say. It’s human nature. Sure we are told how to think and act every day but we don’t want to be fully aware that it’s happening. Why do people hate commercials? Because commercials are blatant things that tell us what to buy or watch. But that small object placement in a movie or tv show effect us so much more. A girl I knew watched the movie Twister and for 2 years afterward wanted to drive the same truck that the “hero” drove.
I encourage you to re-write everything from when Morsus enters. Keep the mystery up a bit. Get rid of the damn speech about how war is killing people and come up with something more dramatic and moving. How about a quick blackout and a gunshot. Something that makes people go “DAMN!”
I want to see if you can do better. Re-post. And message me when you do, I want to see it. (If it makes you feel better, you’ll get a free re-review of it when you do.)
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