Poetry / Why Is It? (Analysis)

Apparently, it is so hard. If there’s one thing I’m a big believer in, it’s self responsibility and tolerance. You and I are obviously two of a very small number that seem to even know what the word tolerance means.

Excellent job at bringing this to light. Your tone is not preachy, just questioning. I like your form, and your word choice is right on.  Maybe someone who reads this will really pay attention. :)

beautifully written ad to the point you made some great points and agree and get all of them keep up the profound work

I recently wrote something like this.  i was upset with the state of the world and worried about sometime in future having kids because of the way the world is.  thats just the way the world is, but by you expressing that, you’re one more person sending out a message (which is awesome).  excellent writing.

There is little to critique here in the way of form. This is a straightforward series of queries with no attempt at poetic expression. I will admit right here that I am at least a little annoyed when people do this. The question the writer may want to ponder is how these sentiments would sound in prose, say, in a journalistic essay where examples and backup are required. Would they stand up? Poetry, written well, is every bit as demanding. Maybe more.

But, the hell with it. I hate being cranky, and I appreciate anyone’s even thinking of attempting poetry.

It deserved, to this reviewer, beginner’s ratings in talent and poetry, but ten-pluses in sensitivity. The thoughts are plaintive, only. A conscious effort to seek poetic expression could do a world of good here. But you have heart and courage, and I welcome you. I hope you’ll seek the imagery and language that will transform these bare questions (which, I have to say, are kind of condescending themselves), into something of strength and beauty that will pierce the insensitive folks you’ll run into in life.

Best of luck,

ASB

very good questions…i’ve wondered the same myself…

A very good piece indeed! Bravo your poetic voice is both unique and lovely. The only thing I would add or suggest is playing around a bit more with the physicality of the piece. Cheers and keep up the good work!

Not exactly poetic in word match and harmony, but the message is clear, timely and appropriate!  I would definitely recommend this for publishing.

Richard

• add/view comments (1)

May 14, 2008

by goofygoober168

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
122	81.0% (84 votes)	46.6%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
24	F	United States	August 07

Thanks. I wasn’t aiming for perfection, but then, I prefer kairos over linguistic excellence anyway. :)

You must login to the site or create an account in order to post a comment.

I know the feeling of everyone always bickering and making the children witness it all. I like the style the seperation between stanza and subject flow flawlessly intertwined together. Good job if you would give me some of your own tips so that I may better my own writing.

• add/view comments (1)

May 13, 2008

by goofygoober168

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
122	81.0% (84 votes)	46.6%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
24	F	United States	August 07

You want tips eh? Here’s the best one I’ve ever heard: Don’t write about what you like or even what you love. Write about what you hate. Whatever pisses you off, write about that. The rawer, the better. Start there. Work your way back to the lovey stuff when you’re feeling less cliche.

Hope that helps ya.  

You must login to the site or create an account in order to post a comment.

This piece is good-it kept me interested. I enjoyed the repetition of ‘is it so hard’. But, IMHO only, the theme is used often and so it is good to try to present it with a twist of some sort. It’s also very tough to accomplish that. Perhaps some colorful metaphors or similes?
Hope this helps
Tina

I am totally taken aback by this poem as it resounds on the same lines I sometimes speak.  You hit my heart with this piece.  Thank you.  Wow.

I have to stop giving such nice reviews as I never have time for me to write, unless I stay up all night.
I just might.

• add/view comments (1)

May 12, 2008

by goofygoober168

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
122	81.0% (84 votes)	46.6%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
24	F	United States	August 07

heh. I was just thinking the same thing…can’t keep up with the super reviewers that keep hitting on my stuff!!! :)

You must login to the site or create an account in order to post a comment.