Poetry / no recipient

should’ve told you
i was a fake,
should’ve written a note
explaining
every intent,
every desire
pulsing
inter-
mittently
from this frontal lobe
before my shirt
let slip
its lies,

blotting paper make for very poor disguises.

insatiably
incapable
i cheer
disaster
and eyes swim
when blues turn red,
then black in the cathedral of clouds.

i’m no lover,
no summoner,
leader,
investment banker,
just for what i could get,
to watch here
your love-panes of sugar-glass
break on my head.

Because I never had
and never deserved
I’ll remind you why I’m dead.

There are no words to
fall into place,
the footprints i left,
my face in photographs,
my voice and the
tender hand that wasn’t mine.

I should’ve told you,
but i was always a coward,
always late.

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Reviews

September 30, 2008

summerwrites

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
30	100.0% (17 votes)	25.3%

personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
29	F	SF, CA	April 10

summerwrites reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

I enjoyed reading this because of its many images. It was a little sad because it has so many ways to say this person feels kind of useless, unworthy or unloved. That is just my interpretation.

The first stanza way overpowers the rest in quality, through my perspective. I think it is because it conveys the sentiment in a language most readers will understand.

“your love-panes of sugar-glass/break on my head.”- my favorite line. the most original image in the poem. love it!

“blotting paper make for very poor disguises.” should it be “makes”?

I hope you wanted this one reviewed. Are you planning on a re-write?