I actually wrote this for a directing unit my drama class did in high school. Every student had to write a scene, then they were given actors at random and had 15 minutes to direct it. I had the main character portray his changing ages with his physicality. And yeah it wouldn’t have turned out well if the guy wasn’t so amazing at his craft, i was quite jealous that he was able to do it.
Stage Play / Memory Fantacy Regret
Memory Fantasy Regret
by Michael B. Seed
A man in his late 50’s carrying a bouquet of flowers walks towards a young woman sitting on a stone appearing to be reading a book. As he gets nearer to the girl his years of age seem to slip back until he approaches her and is magically in his 20’s again.
Woman- Flowers. What’s the occasion?
Man- you.
Woman- Oh really? (Woman stands up.)
Man- Can’t a man just give flowers to his wife just for the hell of it?
Woman- This wouldn’t be because of last night would it?
(Man freezes for a moment out of embarrassment.)
Man- No, this is because of every night. And every day. There hasn’t been a single moment where I haven’t loved you. (He puts the arm not holding the flowers around her waist and pulls her in to his body. The couple just stare into each other’s eyes passionately for a long moment. The man looks as if he is about to say some thing.)
(A young man around the age of 19 enters from behind.)
Boy- Dad. (He puts his hand on his shoulder.)
(The man instantly ages back from his 20’s to his 50’s and turns to face his son and lets go of the girl for a moment.)
(Woman exits while his head is turned.)
Man- There’s so much I wish I had told her. (Grimly facing the gravestone.)
Boy- Let’s go dad.
(Man leaves the flowers before the grave and turns and leaves.)
(Woman re-enters, picks up the flowers and smells them. She puts her head down.)
End.
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Danielle_writer reviewed Version 1 -
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I thought this piece was fantastic! I never would have guessed the ending. Everything that I read seemed so real and natural. I think that this piece definitely could be published. The only thing I would critique you on is maybe the wife and husband’s conversation is a bit longer. Other than that, it’s a great piece. Write On!
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icedsapphire reviewed Version 1 -
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While an interesting concept I can not fathom how someone would execute it (without using multiple actors for the same character) That would have to be one amazing actor
For the most part, your dialogue is crisp and decently written. “No, this is because of every night. And every day. There hasn’t been a single moment where I haven’t loved you.” seems a little over-the-top, but if that’s what you want, go for it.
Interesting. Makes me wonder what went wrong with the rest of the piece.
DCAllen reviewed Version 1 -
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The concept is very good, but this would be hard to do on stage, easier to do on film (growing younger and older instantly).
Proofreading notes:
a single moment where = when (where should be used to indicate spatial rather than temporal relationships.)
say some thing = something
luvbug2090 reviewed Version 1 -
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I loved every word i am a great big fan of plays and just could see actors bring this to life. My only problem with it is that if this is a stage play there is not morphing, just merely another actor play the younger part. so that is the only thing that should be changed.
Man- There’s so much I wish I had told her.
Regert the real silent killer. kudos.
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