Poetry / For The Lyrical Ones

I like the way this is structured, and the way it flows.  It works very nicely and is easy for readers to be able to understand what is going on without flat out telling them.

Wow.  It is not often a poem gives me chills—you achieved it within the first three stanzas!  I liked your rather sparse phrases; I got the sense that the emotion you were trying to convey was too big for words.  I don’t think I have seen a pen-and-paper image done quite the way you did in this, and I loved it.  You did a very good job of conveying the turns, the give and take that has to happen in any relationship.  As I read I thought of my own significant other, and the moment when I was no longer alone.  Very well done.

(Just so you’re not confused or hurt by the numbers I gave you:  I want and need to read more of your work to get a better feel of your style… chances are then you’ll bring in a full crop of 10s!)

i like this piece but i feel like you barely scraped the surface of a deep well, i can tell by the way that you wrote this that there is so much more there…just dig a little deeper…but make no mistake, this is a good piece…but i believe that you can dig deeper. happy writing :)