Poetry / how shameful

im ending this now my dear
and ill take that to my grave.
am i lacking a spine or a soul?
is it because i lost faith of life?

this is good-bye. this is i cant stand you.
this is get out of my life,
but first helpme bury our beautiful lie.

and yes, this is the part when i run.
i cant love you because its so much easier to be numb.

You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.

Reviews

April 20, 2008

AVRP

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
0	77.1% (170 votes)	100.0%

personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
28	F	Canada	February 04

AVRP reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

This is very nice, but please follow proper punctuation concerning capital letters. This poem can be much better when following these rules

add/view comments (0)

March 11, 2008

Maria

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
161	83.7% (86 votes)	22.2%

personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
51	F	Sheridan, WY	November 20

Maria reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

I felt the flow was just off a bit. Over all I think you have good potential in poetry. I felt you were holding back rather then just letting your emotions flow free. This piece was abstract, so it is hard to critique. But you can see the talent. It’s just not the best I’ve read. For being 16 I have to say you have the concept down, it takes time to really let go and allow your pen freedom to express. Keep writing, it was not that bad.

add/view comments (0)

March 11, 2008

mdpapa

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
62	66.7% (4 votes)	26.4%

personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
23	M	Baton Rouge, LA	April 29

mdpapa reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

wow i just got out of a relationship about 3months ago and i felt the same exact way you just wrote down on here….
its good to know were not a lone in this world
thanks