Haiku/Senryu / ByTiny Pond

i assume from the high quality of this pooem that ‘on’ rather than ‘in’ in l1 was intentional. nevertheless, i prefer ‘in’. it just sounds unnatural as is.

but this is a superb haiku. i love the metaphor you’ve created, of a willow writing on the breeze.

i truly enjoy an original metaphor, and this is a quite brilliant one. absolutely love the concept you’ve created.

9/10  (would be 10 if you change to ‘in’)

The images created here are gorgeous. No fixes whatsoever.

Excellent.  Dancing/Writing are perfect.  Minor quibble would be ‘reaches’.  9.5 as-is, would be 10 if ‘reaches’ had more punch.