I suggest using a dictionary.
Limericks / Political Limericks
There once was a woman named Hillary
Whose foes she just wanted to pillory
She went on the attack
She said “but he’s black,”
What kind of jerks does she think are we?
A young Senator named Obama
Had a name that could rhyme with Osama
And a middle, Hussein,
It became a refrain
On the ceaseless right-wing hate-o-rama
The candidate’s name was McCain
Some said he was slightly insane
He courted the loons
And the right-wing buffoons
We’ll be through the first day of his reign
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aliciatr reviewed Version 1 -
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Not sure if you care of not, but there isn’t a syllable pattern here.
However, the rhyming and wording are great.
I can’t wait to read more of yours!
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wvtriker reviewed Version 1 -
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The overall feel and cadence seemed a little off to me. I think it might be some of the word choices, such as pilory. I also think you might have miss used through in the last one. I think the line I disliked most was the one using me as the final word. I would put more time in to that line and make it work but have a more natural feel to it.
By the way, by packing three together and then closing the final on in the way you did were you making a prediction on the out come?
tracgard reviewed Version 1 -
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Oh, my, these are really bad, not for the political views expressed but for the lack of understanding of how the metrical feet work in a limerick. Sure, a variety of types of metrical foot can be used, but at your own peril. You have truly gone over the edge of the cliff by not having a stressed syllable between two unstressed syllables in most of your lines. For instance, look at the last line of McCain. It isn’t even lyrical. In fact, it doesn’t even make sense in order to have some comical or humorous impact. The beauty of a limerick is that is expresses a truth with a humorous bite. This last line says that we’ll be through the first day of his reign. What reign? He’s not even elected. What’s funny about that? You were really stretching with this word. That’s part of the problem with all three limericks. Why don’t you try prose.
Smintboyuk reviewed Version 1 -
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I enjoyed these. I’d score them 9-8-7 in that order. I could imagine reading these in the Washington Post Magazine.
TourmentedSoulz reviewed Version 1 -
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I say ,well done. I found them to be quite humorus. Great job!
Vonprosie reviewed Version 1 -
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It would be more interesting if this used “we” in the last line of the second stanza. It would tie it together better.
Jeff0307 reviewed Version 1 -
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Hehe, well done. A perfect example of limericks. Definitely worth a good chuckle. The only line that escaped me was the very last line in the last stanza. It didn’t seem to make sense with the context. Maybe you could clarify for me.
FeralOne reviewed Version 1 -
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Meh. Maybe it’s just me, but I look for a little more humor in a limerick. These do seem to be quite clear as to making your opinions known, though, I will definitely give you that. :)
mollyp reviewed Version 1 -
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Excellent! Smooth, precise, and funny. I think you should send this to newspapers, Time, Newsweek, and all the like. I know you did’nt want any kind of comment but I feel compelled to say each stanza speaks volumes for people everywhere.
ashkrafton reviewed Version 1 -
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The rhythm varies from stanza to stanza. The third has the best, the first stumbles on the last line. Great use of language, particularly the last line of number 2. Overall, amusing lines, great source of inspiration.
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