Poetry / Wheres the Rainbow (Analysis)

So true. Like the way you list the words then you come with postive note

I enjoyed this poem. I think it holds enough inner meaning to be a very nice piece of work. It’s simple, short, but relate able to many, especially those who sit and watch a storm.

The one thing I might consider revising however, is… I feel that it would add to the poem if on the last line of each stanza you make an allusion to the feelings and emotions portrayed to the first two lines of each stanza.

Such as, “In the dark that is pain.” and, “Rain falls and hides the tears.”

As oppose to the other more imagery lines like, “Lightning brightens the sky.” which could be used for the first two of the stanza.

That repetition I think would really add to it. However, it’s your call.

Regardless, I did enjoy it! Well done!

1st stanza:

You should add more description. You don’t want to make it wordy, but at least make it more interesting for the reader and not so barebones. For instance:

“The sky was a pallid grey,
piercing and empty
while the thunder shook”

2nd stanza:

It seems you’re trying to paint a picture of despair with the descriptions of dramatic weather and what not, and it’s pretty good. The only thing that seemed odd to me was the description of lightning as “brightening”; adjectives of enlightening or illumination should be, I think, reserved for more pleasant pieces, or for reconciliation after a breakdown.

3rd stanza:

Excellent. This manages to, in a simple way, use the inclement weather as a symbol of deeper human emotion; despair and pain.

4th stanza:

The first two lines are a little off-putting, you may want to think about revising them slightly. For the last line, I might say something like:

“Tears are lost in the rain”

5th stanza:

As you describe the weather subsiding, use description again to make it interesting for the reader.

Last:

Interesting. The last line is off-putting so I’d probably change it.

Overall, I enjoyed it for what it was. However, if you’re going to write a poem about pain, you really do need to make it stand out from the crowd.

I recommend you read about poetry, and maybe pick up a collection of Keats’ poems and writings. Think about Keats’ theory of negative capability; poetry is not about being like prose, as linear and truthful, but imaginative. It should have feeling and emotion, and leave the reader wondering, questioning.

I hope you found this review somewhat interesting.

This has a very visual affect to it. It’s kind of depressing but still enjoyable.

AFTER JUST THE FIRST STANZA, I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE A LITTLE DULL, BUT THE WHOLE THING REALLY HAS MEANING AND IS VERY THOUGHTFUL. I WOULD READ A BOOK OF POEMS LIKE THIS ONE. KEEP WRITING

This piece makes you think of a relationship. The storm symbolizes the argument or confrontation and as it clears just as human feelings, the relationship becomes calm again.

I enjoyed your pattern and topic; well-written.  I do suggest, though, that in stanza 3 line 1 that you change “there” to “here.”  It would sound more personal than seeing yourself from 3rd person.  Hope that made sense.  Also, in your title, change “Wheres” to “Where’s” since it means “where is”.

I like how the healing begins as the storm lessens and moves away.  The dual meaning of storm is nicely used.

Overall a nice poem. Good work.

This is a really nice poem. I like how you created a type of poem by having three lines in each stanza, the first two lines short, the last line long.

Some may find that the title is confusing. “Where’s The Rainbow” implies that the rainbow should be there, but isn’t; the rainbow does appear at the end (“clouds move on/the rain slows/as the storm rolls away/wounds heal/hearts mend/forgiveness given again.”).

Aside from that, the poem is clear and concise, which usually makes for a good poem (as Shakespeare once wrote, “Brevity is the Soul of Wit.”).
Good work.

The clouds roll by in the first verse, and then move on in the fifth.  This seems a bit contradictory to me.