Haiku/Senryu / Writing my haiku (Analysis)

Nice haiku. I was always told it was three lines but you have the rhythm down packed and it’s cute! I like it.

Obviously this is incomplete. Extrapolate on this poem and perhaps you will find the message you would like to convey to the writer. To discover the meaning of this poem and to further interest the reader you have to determine what emotions propelled you to write this.

I like this haiku’s message: as I read it, an oblique, self-deprecating evaluation of the poet’s own work. And, for once, cliche is used to good effect: “loud and clear” mocking the poet’s (at least imagined) overemphasis.

The form is certainly nonce: 7/7/5/5, 24 total syllables, and the last two lines rhyme! A beast without pedigree but nonetheless quite stylish.

Nuance is this poem’s soul. We have a “bare” witness, suggesting that while the empress may lack her clothes, the objections raised over the omission are not considerable (!) In light of the observation, I would have to say that this poem follows in the best Japanese tradition (Murasaki Shikibu roll over!)

And “makings” not “making.” A fine distinction, one that reminds us that the unadored fact of the matter, however remarkable, needs its momentary frame.

Bravo!

I don’t get the connection with this piece; and what is a haiku?

Very, almost, cute illustration of how-to-formula haiku.  I like it.  What about changing ‘was’ to ‘is’ to make it forever present tense?

Haiku is suppose to be 4 lines in very little words. I like that you used that bit of English mechanics to you advantage and spun it into a haiku. It gives the reader pause for thought in knowing what a haiku is and what it represents.

Maybe I’m not supposed to understand but I got nothing out of this. I was unable to glean any of your personal thoughts or life view of anykind from this. You may have been going for clever or whitty but I’m not a proffesional poet. Sorry mate.