Non-fiction / An Outline of Me (Analysis)

To compare yourself to a bad writer is absolute bull!  you are amazing.  your story is soooo relatable it’s not even funny.  the story was perfect.  the intro was great because you went in apologetic, but that quickly changed by human folly (at least you said it would).  the second paragraph, there is a grammatical error (“to do…”), but no worry there.  on pg 2 in paragraph four when you said youre single not by choice, i can relate.  i wasn’t either in high school and it sucked.  also on that page in paragraph two, i can’t tell you how many times i wanted people to know the answer.

just know this.  the stress and issues you go through will always come out through your work.  thats what makes it special and sometimes oddly relatable to some.  so don’t fret, because your experiences have seemingly made you an awesome writer.  this was one of my favorite works!  :)

Well I’m not sure if this is really you but if it is the real you that you are writing about… then I have some suggestions. Self-discipline for one, of course you know you are lazy, and when you are lazy maybe you aren’t even looking at the person who thinks you are attractive. Also you’ve become so analytical that you’ve made everything seem impossible. As if there is no direction to go. At age 17 and just wanting someone to tell you that you’re pretty is of course natural, but being attractive and being physically attractive are different things. I won’t tell you that someone out there wants you for who you are, because that’s impossible when you just want to be told you are pretty. No one knows you, and when you aren’t a potential playboy centerfold, it’s going to be a lot harder of course.

Self-discipline comes to mind when you say lazy, and overweight, and so on. Over analyizing happens when you are lazy, being analytical sometimes leads to finding excuses for everything. Get in shape, not only will you feel better about yourself, just being in shape makes people look at you. “Wow, she’s in great shape!” When you have a great body, and you know it, a lot of things can happen for you mentally and physically. If you lack the drive to do something about it, then nothing will help you until you get up and do it. That’s life. It isn’t fair, and to a point, life is what you make of it. Except for the times when ridiculous annoying things interfere, like… other people. Get up and do something, no one will be after you if you aren’t defining yourself.

The main problem here is that you don’t know what you are capable of and how to handle your emotions and thoughts. There is no way to determine your capabilities without experience, and that requires you to accomplish things. Challenge yourself, find something to be passionate about besides writing… like excellent health.

Aside from that, your short story I find is analytical and intelligent. That to me is attractive, provided you know what you can do and what you want. If you don’t know what you can do, then you don’t know what you want besides wanting to do something. If that makes sense…

Anyway just basic grammar problems in here,  ”To do want to entertain, or do you want to be artistic?” not sure what you wanted there, maybe “Do you want to entertain…”

...and a couple of others, but I feel like you didn’t re-read this. So you should to find the errors.

Being pretty isn’t all about looks, even if it helps to have looks. Pretty people usually don’t have much of a personality, which makes them annoying. If you want to be pretty, then build yourself emotionally and gain experience in life.

Good luck, and keep writing!

I’m new to this. Please forgive me if this is not what you are looking for.
I really like the condemnation towards the cliche. For people who seek to own life and its words in a comprehensibly creative manner, the concept of cliche is a terrible pathogen self obsessed with killing anything unique/original. Sorry for being dramatic. However, I see the entire point of this piece as recognizing cliches as vicious and boring, a strange duality no doubt. The nobility of your cause is beautiful. The structure of the piece has good flow and the tragically comical conclusion illustrates the simple truth that we can despise and battle cliches until the apocalypse but in reality they have become the very root from which the written/spoken word grows and most importantly has permeated most aspects of American culture.

From another perspective  

If you could notice – I gave you a higher rating then compared to most of my reviews.

1) You have humor and can inject it ever so dryly (which is really a cool way of being witty, sly and creative, but shhhh – I didn’t say that) into you words.

2) You can express and whine, compared to just whining.  If I have to read someone whine, I would prefer they be somewhat witty and intelligent.  At least, I can smile while reading it (of course, I said read, not hear)

3) When you get over your teen angst and move on to early adult angst, or no job angst followed by I don’t know what to do in life angst, and all the angst that you can collect over a lifetime (I have quite a collection over the years), I hope you carry with you your writing style and develop it more.

Other than – its all good.  Your right on track as a teen.  So, gather as much angst as you can – it will be you power source for the future – you can never have to much angst behind you.

As a writer, focus on your writing and use your angst as fuel to write, but not so much as a main subject or injection.  It’s kind of like telling a story about a road trip and all you talk about is the gas used on the trip – of course the kind of gas someone made in the cabin of the vehicle is much more interesting to write about.

Hoped that help.

Very well written, which is a refreshing change from normal reviewing!  Good grammar useage, good form, plot was easy to relate to, and the story flowed well.  As to the topic, i won’t waste your hard earned review points, but briefly, you’re uber-normal, and truly successful women often have this experience early on.  Confidence is hard for teen boys to handle since they have none!  Good writing, i’m waiting for the Harry DaVinci book! ;)

I think this is a good piece of writing and that you are a good writer. This piece speaks to million of individuals facing similar circumstances. As for injecting yourself in your writing, I would think that is is hard not to. Afterall, you created these characters from nothing. In addition, all writers have their own unique style of writing. So i would suggest that injecti a little piece of yourself in you stories is not bad. I like this piece. keep up the good work.

I could see this maybe being publishable as a piece of a young adult story following a girl growing up.  Perhaps as a part of your autobiography when you write that famous book ;).  In a few places it felt like you were trying to use larger words to add maturity, but in doing so it actually took away from it.  I believe you said something about that earlier in it though.  I do think that the things you presented aren’t completely new, but most people don’t voice them.  I think it’s good that you wrote this because many people forget what it’s like to be a teen.  One thing, “For the life of me, I cannot figure out what happened.” This is a bit off.  With what you were describing earlier it seemed like nothing had changed and that you were just becoming depressed about the way things were.  Sentence could be tweaked.  
Alexis

This piece is pretty good. I will also say that i can totally relate to what you say. There have been many times when i felt the same. Sometimes you even seem to wonder if maybe writing or even friends and dateing is even worth it. I found though that writing my stories is a release and makes my day. For those few precious hours(or minutes) You can be somewhere else, someone else, You can be anything.
With this piece i don’t think you sounded whinny or repetitive. I can really feel the emotion you tried to emulate, and you really got your point across. Sorry i have nothing bad to say but good work. You are an excellent writer to be able to get your emotions through, and i have ready many older and more experianced people who have trouble acomplishing this.