Poetry / "Life is like that" (Analysis)
Life is Like that
Think about the way you live
Does it what it thrive
Does every man strive
to become a one man Ride
My life is not right
My heart keep a fight
with the head’s might
like a fire and a knight
do you want to know?
does life go slow?
are you lower than low?
do you really want to know?
love is like mice
trying to get a fake piece of rice
every heart is cold like an ice
but love can melt it twice
Can every man love?
as a kid shove?
want to know if you are be love?
John Fulton Sherman
Copyright ©2008 John Fulton Sherman
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Your thoughts are good, but no offense, the rhyming’s a little tacky and some parts don’t make sense.
-Does it what it thrive ..????
-Can every man love?
as a kid shove?...again..???
I like your thoughts, and I think you have some real talent. Just work on your presentation (ie: analogies, rhyming etc., so it doesn’t sound tacky). Believe it or not, you CAN over do analogies (as many of my friends tell ME)...so just be careful with that.
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