Poetry / My obsession (Analysis)

Excellent work… I don’t see any mispellings!

“BUT THIS IS MY OBSESSION AND UR ARE NOW ENTRAPPED, WELCOME TO MY WORLD, YOU MAY NEVER GO BACK!!!”

Live Long Laugh Hard!
KittyNadem

This reminds me of an 80s Song, Obsession. The fact that you keep repeating “obsession” makes me believe that you are just that with the mystery subject. In the opening line you say, LIKE AN OBSESSION. Why not call it simply “an Obsession.”

I think some example of how you are obsessed or what the effects of your obsession would make the piece a little stronger. As of now I see it as repeating without getting stronger or going anywhere.

The first graph is simply re-worded in the second graph.
“IM SURE TO REPLACE U JUST LIKE ANY OTHER  MOMENT OF FASCINATION,”
is simply, “UR NOTHING MORE THEN MY OBSESSION FOR THE MOMENT INTO THE…”
Maybe this is a way of trying to say that you are not going on, you are stuck in your obsession.

I am curious what you are going with the type? I missed the point of the caps. I also wondering why you use “u” and “ur” is this to make me think you are obsessed with the cell phone. If so, use more or this shorthand. lol.

Good luck, keep working it and will evolve for you I am sure!

Powerful, true and to the point.  This is well done.  Keep up the writing.  Like to see more.

This poem oozes desperation to the maximum. It is almost like I am reading a text message from a stalker. It invokes passion, misery, and a pensive damnation to the one who is the object of the person’s obsession. Chilling. Any poem that makes the reader feel something in my opinion is worth reading twice. Although some criticism would be that putting all of the poem in caps gives the reader the impression that the author is yelling or extremely pissed off. Maybe that was your intention. Overall, interesting but could use some more revision. Keep it up.