Children's / Child's Wonder

so, many questions without any answers but for a child to ask is very important.
It read well as if a 5 year old would ask these questions.  It was a very nice poem

not enough people write for the children ,, maybe I should try ,,

they say giving is better than recieving . you have done well.

lookingbeyond

This was a cheery little poem and one that would make a child smile for sure. In fact, I found myself smiling too, and I’m an adult.

I thought this was a good poem. At first I thought it was a child asking the questions, but it could be anybody asking. We all dont really know any of those answers. I last line made the poem complete and made it worth reading.

Overall, I liked it.

A couple of points though.

One, throughout, you used very simple words, which works.  This is for a child, and it comes across as that.  Fun and simple.  Then you bring the word ‘hummingbird’ when everything else you’ve simplified (ex. fish, stars, seeds..).  Hummingbird just doesn’t seem to fit.  It’s very specific and I was not expecting that at all.  I’d change it to ‘a bird’ or ‘how do birds’.  That would make the flow better and not stop the reader I think.

Also, the last line ‘None of them exactly’.  I was left wondering where the coma was.  To put emphasis on ‘exactly!’. I think that would fit better.

Overall though, like I said, this was fun and simple.  I could so see reading this to kids.  Great job!

I like it, and I think it has potential as a picture book.

oceans floor = ocean floor, ocean’s floor, oceans’ floor
heavens doors = heavens’ doors

The couplet that begins “How does . . .” seems out of place. All of these couplets teach the difference between countable and uncountable nouns and the use of much and many. I think you should stick with this. The phrase “none of them exactly” could itself be more exact (it is the word exactly that is vague here).

rain drops = raindrops

The lines are written awkwardly just to write a rhyme – this detracts from the piece.

The structure is off…

First verse – about light
second verse – fish/sky (not connect and doesn’t match the structure of verse 1)
third verse – Flowers/water (connected – but not clearly)
Fourth verse – Question/statement – breaks the flow that was previously created and no reason for this is really evident.
Fifth verse – Bird/light – again not connected.
Sixth verse – rain/wind – not connected.
final verse – Question/statement this one is ok in breaking structure because the reason is evident.

But the problem with the final verse is that is a question an adult would ask and not a child.  Also the answer is not in keeping with the TYPE of questions previously asked. The type of questions asked are quantitative and therefore are really about numbers and not items.

Good luck!

This structure works well—all the questions a child would ask and the repetitive way in which he/she would ask them!
If you’re going for strict form, you could add another stanza to rhyme with the  ”floor/doors” stanza in the second half of this, to make it two sets of four stanzas that (relatively) match up.  ...If you’re going for form.

^{Super small grammar suggestion:}
“heavens doors” needs an apostrophe to make it possessive—” heavens’ “