Funny! I will definately consider choosing a more eloquent flavor of wording! Acorn intentions/...is also my favorite line. :) Thanks so much for your review
Poetry / Dancing Leaf
The green in your treeness
Sprouted this spring
Returned from a winter
Of dark reckoning.
Solitude slumbered
‘Neath a blanket of snow
Acorn intentions
Dreaming their grow.
Then to a leaf
Yet dazzling, new
Breathing in sunshine
Kissed by the dew.
Your mighty arms branch out
A summer for shade;
Your weathered trunk solid
With wisdom and age.
Turn ‘round once again
In this autumn of gold
Warm amber brilliance
But never to hold
A moment of beauty
Leaf’s tender release
As days dwindle shortly
And seasons decrease.
A moment of Power
Pieroette as you dare
Destination – a spiral
Of Spirit, of air.
No fear in your quivering
Dance upon wind
Gentle and bold
Returning to kin.
Ne’er a worrisome thought
In your verse
Gown shedding timely
Returned to the Earth.
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
Dreamland reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
Haha! I really don’t believe that it’s just suitable for Autumn It’’s a fantastic piece full of warmth…
- add/view comments (0)
thesummer reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
I really enjoyed that.
I couldn’t decide if I liked the word ‘treeness’ in the first line, it struck me as silly at first, but then it kind of grew (ha) on me.
I really love the image of the tree turning ‘round and pirouetting, this image of motion applied to the sturdy stillness of a tree is enchanting and beautiful in its allusion to the secret knowledge of trees. “Acorn intentions/dreaming their grow” also rocked my world.
the only criticism i have is that your imagery seems to rely on words that are too general. for example, phrases like “weathered trunk” “a leaf, dazzling, new” leave me craving their colors, scents, and textures.
I am very happy to have come across your poem though, thank you!
moanmyname reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
Is there such a word as “treeness”? I don’t know but it was vivid the way you wrote about one leaf and the cycle it goes through. Good work. Continue on..
Showing 1 - 3 of 3
Review item
Add to favesCreator
Relevant Links
Item Stats
GENERAL
3 Reviews 3 Comments
Version 1
Latest Activity: about 1 year ago
REVIEW QUEUE
Appeared in Queue: 26 Times
Skipped: 0 Times
Ratings & Rankings
