Poetry / 'Reader'

I think you’ve got a pretty cool premise simmering here, u just need to cook ita little longer so it boils down to what you’re trying to say in a more refined manner. I”m gonna suggest a few revisions that stood out to help ya.

Line 1: Pouring over research, plans[,] and plots,

Line 4: you could make “leaks,” “leak,”

Line 5: Maybe say “Trickling onto love and life” instead.

I’d suggest removing the first two lines of the second stanza, it feels like they are useless in the development and they tell the reader what they already know. Maybe you could brush this stanza up by putting it something like this:

“An experienced readers eyes
and mind have been trained,
capable enough to see through your
feeble shield of twisting narrative.”

Line 16: “not cliche” rather than “don’t cliche”

I really liked the structure and flow in the first two paragraphs, but I don’t like the end. I think you could do more with it but it is still very nice to read.

Perfect use of free-verse with a twist of structure. I also liked the topic, it related to me on many different levels. Great write.

much love and paranoid musings. I like your reference to possibly your other work and your refusal to accept boring mundane critiques of your work that aren’t worth the time you spend to read them, So, I’ll try to be fair and concise and I refuse to Cliche (if its possible to verbalize the word)

Technical: spelling of Skeptical.
Imagery: good and not grandiose. I like your wordplay with “feeble shield of twisting turning narrative”

Ok? What else, themes of self efficacy, underdog, etc. good stuff, I can deffinately relate --- you don’t want careless readers, Your opponent must be worth the blood spilled from biting words of critique.

I love this because it breaks down the dimensions of a “trained reader”. Someone who doesn’t just read to be reading, but a reader who understands and gets revelations from what they are reading. This is awesome, and a very unique concept. I love it when a person can take what we tend to look over and make it noticeable. Good job!

Excelent use of metaphor, good dialogue between your poetic subject and yourself while still making it feel very narrative towards anyone reading it.

great piece of work. the words are put together so well. a winner.  jayne sterne ( author of Destroyed )

Interesting. I don’t know that this is overly witty but a good observation of the relationship between a writer and the reader. Although the reader is the title of this piece I feel it is saying more about the writer.

“Watching your heart decorate the sheet,”
“Trickling onto the page is your love and life.”

These are the most passionate lines in the piece. There is something of every writer in their work and it takes great courage to offer something of yourself to another person for review and critisism. I like this but I think you can go even deeper with this angle and tell me more. Good job.

Interesting message.

I wouldn’t have used the apostrophes around “Reader” because i think the capitalisation makes it stand out anyway.

Was the irony with the inclusion of the line “Don’t Cliche” and the line “twisting turning” intended? is so brilliant.

Jordan*

This reminds me of a Billy Collins poem:  ”Introduction to Poetry.”  It’s about literary critism versus poetic intent.  I think this is what you’re driving at with this poem.  I like the point of this piece, but I don’t think it’s descriptive enough.    I want to see the narrator trying to hide something from the reader.  I’d like to see him trying to cover up his tracks.  I’d like to see him try to be original and creative.  I’d like to see him fail too.  The word “reader” is repeated too many times.  The 4th line of the second stanza is too long.  It’s really jarring and doesn’t flow.

Overall, I think it’s grammatically correct, but that it needs more detail.