Poetry / Here We Go Again (Analysis)

Another mornin,gettin up
Need some coffee,in my cup
Then I’ll sit and have a smoke
This stuff’s addictin,just like coke
Oh great the kids are up
Wanting breakfast and their cups
changing diapers,I’m the queen
If they keep gettin into shit, I’m gonna scream
Finally they go down for a nap
They don’t sleep long,Holy crap
try to clean and cook and such
I never appreciated my parents so much
They always said I’d have 1 like me
but I lucked out I got 3
they keep me goin that’s no lie
sometimes I get so frustrated i could cry
but never the less i love them so
probably more than they’ll ever know
But one day i’ll tell them too
I hope you have kids,just like you

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BayouStar76 avatar General Stranger

September 01, 2008

BayouStar76

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BayouStar76 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item
This 13 word review has not been unlocked.
kelmo avatar General Stranger

July 11, 2008

kelmo

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kelmo reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item
This 42 word review has not been unlocked.
andra avatar General Stranger

April 25, 2008

andra

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andra reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

I appreciate the real-life material and the genuine emotions behind this, but I’m afraid it just didn’t work for me. I found the rhyme trite, the rhythm worked in places but was awkward in others, and the inconsistent capitalisation and punctuation was offputting. Perhaps try focusing less on rhyme and more on what you want to say and how the words flow.

socrates2004 avatar General Stranger

April 16, 2008

socrates2004

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socrates2004 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

The musicality and the rhyme is really enjoyable.  There is a beginning, middle and end which makes it narrative type of poem.  

kidwitprobs avatar General Stranger

April 15, 2008

kidwitprobs

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kidwitprobs reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

First I would just like to say that I like the basic theme behind this poem and the overall story to it. Other than that you seem to try too hard to rhyme. Remember poetry is no about rhyme it’s about rhythm and metaphor. If you must rhyme then choose your words carefully. I think after some wordplay this poem really could be a winner and I would love to read the finished product.

juniegirl avatar General Friend

April 15, 2008

juniegirl

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juniegirl reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

A very humerous poem about life as a parent. I can relate to this since I had four of my own, and grateful they do not have any of their own yet! I think I will make this a favorite of mine, it had me smiling and laughing all the way through!

burrito avatar General Stranger

April 15, 2008

burrito

REVIEW QUALITY: 0.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats
burrito reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

i felt nothing reading it
do you have better ones(not to be mean)?

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baltoravens98 avatar

baltoravens98

Age: 31
Loc: Selma, NC
Gen: F
Last Login: July 14
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Latest Activity: about 1 year ago

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