Poetry / Untitled poem (for the time being) (Analysis)

This is one that can mean so many different things, obviously something (someone) your quite passionate about (no shit).

I’ve probably gone back and reread this 6 or 7 times, reinserting different subjects into what this poem could reference. And regardless of what you insert, regardless of the subject matter: music, love, women, art, etc… It always ends the same, with the same results.

You’ve done a good job at leaving it open just enough for the reader to gather their own interpretations, and insert their own subjects. Good poetry (at least in my eyes, could be dip shit poetry to someone else) provides an emotional scene, and lets the reader relate that scene to their own lives.

You’ve done just that.

Good Job.

Hope to read more.

I think you write somewhat well but I get the feeling that your thoughts are scattered, I know by your words that you are describing Love, but I am not getting the same feeling feeling from you as an author , your mind seems to be elsewhere when you are writing this

the feel of this is very much as i try to evoke in my love poetry. Nice sentiment without being awkward. thanks for sharing, keep it coming, and best wishes.

Wow I really liked that it was like therapy or something. It brought me to this like peaceful place where all was well and full of hope. Thank you so much for writing that. Keep it up!

I really like the first stanza. A great poetical description of how realtionships often are in the beginning stages. The only thing I’m not a huge fan of is the parenthetical break in the middle. It just doesn’t feel like it belongs to me. But then again, its free verse, so what do I know! But try it without it, and see what you think.

I enjoyed reading your poem, as you move through time with someone, hence I like the idea of your title being, ‘Our Time Together’. Definitely should include ‘Time’ in the title I feel.

I love the consistency of this poem, it’s flowing movement and it’s very lovely.

I would leave this poem as it is, I see no reason for changing anything.

Look forward to more of your work.

Take care,
Rhonda

I am not a great fan of poetry so you may accept or disregard anything I have to say.This poem speaks of the wonderful naivete of young love. It’s free of anger and bitterness and speaks of pure accepting love. You are now 4 years older and as such you must have sxperienced more emotional growth. It would be nice to see that if you were to write another poem on your relationship, how you could reflect that love and emotion. I wish you luck with your coming wedding and hope you have enjoy a wonderful partnership with you partner

DISCLAIMER: I am not published, and my “industry” knowledge is limited to published authors I associate with, no agents or publishers, and no poets beyond a few teachers who are published. Take those numbers with a grain of salt.

That out of the way, I like this poem. It has a strong, repetitive motif that makes abundantly clear what is happening. It is a poem about the future to someone in the present. I think it falls a little short in strong imagery, being highly nebulous (as feelings tend to be—”love” is, of course, not a concrete thing).

The stanzas are clearly separated, and the promisory note of how “[you] will make time” for all this is indicative that at some point, this relationship became one of dedication rather than infatuation. You moved from “there will be time,” to how you would make it so, and that speaks of something intentional rather than passive. It’s a good shift in the tone of the piece.

A title suggestion: “Before This Time,” being written before the time you have made, the time you look to share and the time that is coming.

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April 16, 2008

by apple_scruff1964

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Thank you for taking time to comment, and I’ll definitely keep your suggestion for the title in mind. :)

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