Poetry / The Face in the Window

Not quite sure of the context of the poem, and I’m afraid the imagery seems a bit clichéd to me, but I liked the ending.

So this is it…the recognition, of someone familiar…but hidden from the self.  Very close…indeed, the inner self.  We all hide and we all falter, and I think you expressed this well…The verse on the blood has been mentioned in other reviews…and I do not think you need it…at all.  Otherwise it is a nice visit to the inner self, I am sure…tough to write.  I scored it as such, only for refinement purposes.

Cheers,
Steve.

I really like the first half.  Before the blood part.  I think people can identify with feeling disconnected from their reflection.  So the thing the character is unable to fight is shame.  I think this part of the poem is a bit lost in the blood description.  It becomes a little showy.  I do like the very last line it would be a well connected thought and image if the middle area were cleared up and focused more on what you want the reader to feel.  Overall I think this poem is worth working on.  I like the concept. I think some stanza breaks would really make this a better poem.  

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April 16, 2008

by hippopotimoose_moo

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The blood description is essential to my poem because it adds urgency.  Not urgency to be free from the blood, but to “save” myself.  It makes the reader anxious, maybe even a little afraid?  I don’t know, but stanza breaks are a good idea, thanks!    Sincerely, Stephanie

April 16, 2008

by aquaisis2

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I’m not saying that the blood isn’t needed.  It is needed for the dream like image and I’m saying it should be worked on.

The blood section of the poem lacks urgency or a sense of fear.  The wording you have chosen drags it down a bit, because you uses very common descriptions of blood in the center of what could be a really wonderful, powerful poem.  I would love to read a rewrite and will be watching for more of your work.  Thank You.

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very deep.  Everyone sometime in their lives has experienced pain.  Some of us keep it inside and don’t ask for help.  Others, ”... cry out to her in pain”... I love the adjetives..” the crimson agony”.. makes me feel like I am right there with you.

Thru is through, and altho is although, aside from that this was had some very gruesome imagery, but it was definitely vivid.

This was very interesting; I was wondering where you were getting at while I was reading it and then comes “I awake at last”.  I imagine this horrifying mysterious nightmare of a forgotten woman you once knew and when you finally come into contact with her, you awake, and all misery dissipates. It was great.

I have a few questions, though:

Does the woman represent anything?  What exactly are you awakening from?  A nightmare?  Why do you hate “her” yet at the same time you cry out to “her”?  What is the window you are looking out from and eventually touch?

Really cool, I loved the wording, too.