Poetry / Miss you (Analysis)

very personalized and greate insight.i am very impressed.please keep writing . I feel that you build this setting and mood brick by brick.very nice.keep this up.

ps.the amount of ratings and rankings is incredible.i recommend downsizing

I didn’t mind this even though it was fairly sad. It’s difficult for me to relate to someone who has lost someone like this, so I won’t, but I feel compassion for you.

I’ll comment on your literary ability, instead:

S2, The following line sticks out like a sore thumb. I would suggest breaking it up or revising it, “You can’t do that in a proper graveyard,”

Your spelling, grammar and punctuation are off in a few places, but with polishing that wouldn’t be a problem. I would work on the way your word everything so that the interpretation is clearly understood. For example, these stanzas: S5 & S8

Hopefully this gives you somewhere to start. Thanks for the read.

Very sweet. I really enjoyed reading this!

This is a good piece and very very sad. I wasn’t sure if “place I’m being selfish” should be “perhaps I’m being selfish”? Doesn’t seem to make sense.

Also, the line “I want him back! Give him back to me! Please…” is unnecessary and I think you should remove it.

The line about the coffin overflowing with your tears is especially good.

I like the poem. it’s got meaning to it. a lot of people feel like this when a loved one is dead.

it’s so sad, sometimes when I read poetry it can come off as fake, but you can tell that this is genuine emotion, especially the last few lines about the daughter and how she wont know her father. it brings tears to the eyes.

wow.. um i really have very few words left after reading this.  amazingly written i must say.  has a deep meaning and great imagery. i feel for the character. Must be a very hard thing to do.. Yet so many people can relate to it.  Very realistic. I love how this piece starts off! “You were right,
I can’t stand to have you too far away.” my favorite lines.  great work.

WOW… way powerful i feel the pain expressed hear and i sincerely mean that it spoke volumes beyond the actual written words. It is really sad but it is very powerful good luck on future pieces of work you do, Great job…

where you wrote ppl can stare, how about rewriting it to the word “they” because it goes better with rhythm of this poem. Overall I enjoyed it, but there are some phrases that doesn’t go with the rhythm. Yet I understood what you felt.  

Very easy read. Your choice of words were very simple but there meanings are very vivid. You really can feel the pain, joy, and suffering of this poem. Well done.