Poetry / My friend from the North (Analysis)

loved its lightness and clear assertive verse

So when you’re over done you have lived in the heat of Bakersfield, Ca.,lol. I thought this poem was superb in every aspect, it is hilarious and yet serious at the same time. You showed how the weather or climate can be cruel to some and great for others. Great poem overall!

i really like the idea of this poem. i read above that your poems usually come out how you want them to, but i think you should consider two small things that i was thinking about as i read this poem.

first: some of the lines really flowed i.e. “its cold where i live    my friend from the north” and all similar lines. but then you would get really choppy between them. the poem would sound much better if you could clear some of this up. try reading it out loud lyrically and you will see what i mean.

second: in the beginning, you say it is too cold where i live to your friend from the north but then to your friend from the west you say it is too hot. i dont know if this was purposefully done, but i just wanted to point out that you were contradicting yourself. but like you said, maybe it was right the first time and that is how you want it.

anyway, this was actually one of my favorite poems i have read on this site so i just wanted to give you some ideas if you were up for any revisions to it. keep writing!

It was good, but I would have to say work on clarity, I was confused slightly while reading and I had to go over a few lines over again to understand. With some work I think this could be an amazing poem.