Poetry / The Beauty

A kind of unexpected eloquence
In the way that he said
“I don’t love you anymore”
The way it rolled off his tongue,
Smooth as ice
And just as cold
He made it look so simple
It was almost polite and
You almost thanked him for it
However,
Your absent mind returned for the present
Keeping you from that mistake
So instead you turn away
Letting your tears speak volumes
To later spell out the pain
Across the blank paper lines
Watching the dark dampness spread
Filling all the pages with your empty
Completely full of empty
Well isn’t it ironic?
A self-fulfilling prophecy
You tend to deny but
Your subconscious knows better
It betrays you to yourself,
Beating your brain into
An automatic state of submission
Until you can’t see for your blind imagination
Yet,
The magnificent colors of
A dark, cold world
Bleed into each other
Blending,
Stealing your breath in wonder
So again,
It makes you want to thank him
For his heartless words that
Froze your heart inside your chest and
Stole your eyes from this desolate place
Of barren emotion,
Leaving you in those unexpected caves of
Divine inspiration
Creating a wonderful outlet of
Suffering
That you can share with the world
Tragic it was but,
Oh,
There was so much beauty in his letdown

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Reviews

January 28, 2006

BlackSunshine

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
28	100.0% (2 votes)	17.4%

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Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
26	F	Houston, TX	August 25

BlackSunshine reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

I am the same way about inspiration and unhappiness. I like this poem especially the line “I don’t love you anymore”. The way you were able to describe that, there is an odd beauty in that…I can see him saying that and standing there feeling it. Good poe, I liked it!

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January 25, 2006

NightDemon

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
2	0.0% (0 votes)	9.1%

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Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
21	F	United States	August 24

NightDemon reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

I think this is really good, you’ve totally conveyed that kind of ironc misery to it. I can totally see a guy, a gorgeous, perfect guy saying those words. This is a very compelling poem I really like it. Keep it up.

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January 25, 2006

SultryPoet

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
120	90.0% (10 votes)	51.3%

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Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
19	F	Bronx, NY	October 23

SultryPoet reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

It does suck. It is actually a great poem. It is simple but yet it holds a great depth of meanin gand I’ms ure many have been there. For you to capture it with simplicity, yet you use the owrds well at the same time. There was a few grammar problems but overall it was good. My fav lines were ““I don’t love you anymore�?/ The way it rolled off his tongue,/ Smooth as ice
And just as cold/ He made it look so simple/
It was almost polite and/You almost thanked him for it” those were great. smiles