New words make you more invokilicious, no?
Poetry / The Folks
Her uncle said…
I was a nomad.
I was connected to ampersands.
I was incommunicado.
Her auntie said…
He is a flibbertigibbet.
He is a cocaine addict.
He is the silliest sausage in the pan.
Her sister said…
I was unable to partake in charades.
I was too stiff to have fun.
I was a laudanum obsessive.
Her father said…
He is a pusillanimous mongrel.
He washes his hair in apostrophes.
He collects second-hand thoughts.
Her mother said…
I was sick.
I was disgusting.
I was dead.
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CharlesB reviewed Version 1 -
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Great, great, great poem. I love this stansa
“He is a flibbertigibbet.
He is a cocaine addict.
He is the silliest sausage in the pan.”
Your comparisons are excellent. I would do nothing to change this. Publishable material. Big word hinder only inexpierenced, and lazy readers. The structure and rythm is perfect. Overall, a wonderful poem. Keep it up.
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DaniRai reviewed Version 1 -
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i love the use of big wods it set your work apart from many others. It made me laugh, small, and think which i give you great thanks for doing. I want be afraid to say that some words i had to google to get the meaning of, but that just help me learn something new. thank you.
Kathymel reviewed Version 1 -
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Sounds like a fabulous disfunctional family. Love the long words. To say so much with so little is rather clever.
DamondQuinn reviewed Version 1 -
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Having said that you use “big words” I feel like your setting your self up for certain types of critiques! I am a very well educated man but for a reader to pull up Merriam-Webster to fully understand is too much work! How are we supposed to critique when we don’t understand what your saying. I am not gonna change you and I say stick to what you do, but I have to say sometimes when I read poetry like this I feel as if it is selfish and self centered, just because you know big words doesn’t mean you have to use them all! I understand what you wrote and I think it was well done “isn’t that ironic” but the average newbie won’t get you! So I guess I am the “creepy” one. This is very well written.
TabulaLife reviewed Version 1 -
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I love your use of phrasing, and vocabulary. ”pusillanimous mongrel” stands out among them. You use vocabulary hieghtened but yet still understandable. Very nice poem, overall.
wolfie_pink reviewed Version 1 -
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Family is strange. Well, I think mine is. This poem reminds me of how families go around talking about each other.
firemaidenphoenix reviewed Version 1 -
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I love the conversational style. I found it especially interesting that the speakers alternated between saying “He….” and “I…”; I think this is what made the piece so provocative. Very glad I got a chance to read this one!
goldenrose reviewed Version 1 -
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I can see this is an experimental poem, but it was still intersesting to read and it had a good flow which was good.
zekewyatt reviewed Version 1 -
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Elliptical and excellent. The last tercet, simply juxtaposed with the others, is outstanding. The end-stops are impressive. The title? Use it better, let it be the clue, the billboard, the ad. But my initial instinct was to give this a nine, but I’m changing it to ten. Just change the title.
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