Thank you and of course you can!
Poetry / Bring Your Own Yak
I’ve seen flyers, posters,
Nifty (and thrifty) homemade
Construction paper invitations
To parties,
Many of which stamped with that
None too hospitable BYOB.
But, for the very first time today,
I received an invitation,
Instructing all guests (new or returning)
To “bring your own yak”.
This sent my mind clickety clacketing
Down a road I’m sure no one else should travel,
Sending me shivering – then giggling- as I tried to unravel
The mystery of why you might want a yak at a party.
Shaving was mentioned by the host,
But I’m thinking this fellow has never scraped wool
Off a pudgy, thin skinned (HUMAN) calf,
Or he’d know tackling the gristly long pelt of a yak
Would be no picnic.
And then, why would you want your yak shaved?
Honestly, would a yak – could a yak-
Look better shaved?
I can’t imagine (oh yes I can) the splotched, shivering
Flesh of a bare yak looking more appealing
Than the hairy animal itself,
Not to mention the feel of petting – then regretting-
Placing your hand on tender, sensitive, vulnerable flesh-
And in a public place – serving food – no less!
Other than the overtly mentioned,
Dubious pleasure of shaving a yak,
What else would you want one for?
They are milk-makers, true,
But they are also grass-munchers-
I doubt you’d get a word in, what with
Lactating and grazing taking up most of the evening.
Dancing? I assume you’d have to take the lead
(an awkward thought for me),
since yaks are bred to be led
on a string by dirty shepherds,
And consequently, are likely not to know any moves of their own.
Yawn! Well, I suppose it’s always nice
To have company for dinner,
Though I must admit a yak doesn’t sound all that appealing
To sit down to –
Either across the table or on top,
I’m not all that picky, but I have to stop
When it comes to the variety bucket
Of mountain- bred yak (breaded original, crispy,
and NEW to the menu: shaved!)
But then again,
Could I attend this party,
With my friends enjoying
shaving, shorn, lactating, grazing, dancing,
Mountain-bred, and/or breaded yak,
And not feel that I lacked something,
If I came yak-less?
Would anybody quibble,
If I lathered up a cow,
Petted my bald cat,
Talked to my dog,
Danced with my gorilla,
And ate my extra-crispy horse instead?
Or would my head be stamped in shame,
All the room jeering at the freakish, lame,
Out of style pretender who brought lesser beasts
To a yak party?
I can’t think even one more thought
About the yak I haven’t bought
For the party.
I’ll just have to stop by the zoo
On the way down,
And ask for something “to go”.
Copyright 2008 by Jenny Hurwitz Sweat
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Brandy_wine reviewed Version 1 -
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I LOVED it!!!! I thought it was clever clever clever and I almost passed it by and I am glad I read it! WOW what a great rhytm and such a great chuckle! I read it to my kids and they loved it too! You are talented! My son says you are like Dr. Seuss! More Yaks keep ‘em coming!
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Ancienthwy reviewed Version 1 -
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okay I loveeee this! may i add it to my favs?
trampledpixie reviewed Version 1 -
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I about died from hyperventilation reading this! Oh my…at one point, I think I let out something akin to a squeal of sheer delight, which progressed in a downward (perhaps upward?) spiral to that particular ‘doubled-over’ position.
This was truly enjoyable. I saw the title and immediately thought of “Everybody’s Got a Waterbuffalo” from Veggie Tales…and had to read it. ”I’m not all that picky, but I have to stop / When it comes to the variety bucket / Of mountain- bred yak (breaded original, crispy, / and NEW to the menu: shaved!)” is what totally did me in, in the end. Positively brilliant!
Ramblin_Jack reviewed Version 1 -
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very well written i liked it a lot. very clever word play and funny too!
Rayn reviewed Version 1 -
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I hope this was as much fun to write as it is to read. The title is very attention getting, and the internal rhymes really add to the playful feeling established by the subject. I felt that it got better as it went on—the second page was definitely my favorite. I would recommend dropping “of which” from the fifth line, and maybe trimming a little more in the first half of the piece, but only sparingly. Nicely done!
TabulaLife reviewed Version 1 -
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This is a very origional poem, and I like how it has an almost whimsical quality to it. The lines are charming. certain parts, “If I came yak-less?
Would anybody quibble,
If I lathered up a cow,
Petted my bald cat,
Talked to my dog,
Danced with my gorilla, ” had me cracking up for some reason as well. Keep it up, you seem to have a talent for writing witty poetry
GreenIguana reviewed Version 1 -
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This is one of the most bizarre things I have read. I wasn’t sure if it was meant as a Dr. Seuss parody, or an allegory to a lesbian S&M orgy, or something else. It was fun to read to see where, and how far, it would go.
The yak seemed to change from something to be beautified or tormented to something to be eaten. This was a little confusing. Also, why would the yak necessarily be female (lactating)?
Spaceweasel reviewed Version 1 -
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I really like it, the subject matter was funny and there were a couple of moments that I laughed out loud. Good work, keep shaving that Yak!!
starblue reviewed Version 1 -
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What a delightful rambling piece of fun. With just a little polishing,it would be a stellar choice for a childrens book of verse. I think a good agent would be willing to evaluate it for publishing. I appreciated the internal rhyming and the semi-serious-silly way in which this was handled. There are some great word-pictures like the ‘clickety clacketing’ for listening and shivering giggling for doing and splotched shivering shaved yak for imagining. this was a good read
DCAllen reviewed Version 1 -
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This is brilliantly witty and fun. I NEVER review poetry, but I’m so glad I read this one. Excellent. I want to go to a yak party.
If I came yak-less? (I loved this line, as well as all lines that came before it and after it.)
Do you really have a gorilla?
I usually have lines and lines of proofreading notes. This poem is so polished. Great!
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