Poetry / Beyond the Door (Analysis)

Something all of us sooner or later must ponder in earnest.  A traditional spiritual inquest.  What comes across nicely is the loneliness of the spirit journey.  It is subtle, but on a second reading becomes clearer.  Don’t know if you want to rework this to bring that closer to the front. The poem stands as is.  And you give the reader a nice emotional payoff by reinforcing the desire to comfort others, then wrap it up with the only conclusion possible. Faith, in the end, is what we have.  Thanks

It’s been a little while since I’ve been on this site…but, since I’ve been asked to come out of retirement I figured that it would have to be for something that I felt was worth it, and this, my friend, definitely was!  At first I thought that it was just another cliche driven piece, but as I read further I became enveloped in its rapture.  I don’t think that I am much of an authority on poetry, but I do know what is considered good, and this is it. Keep up the good work, and thanks for requesting my opinion.

G. D. McCrary
author of “Guerrillas in the Midst,” ISBN 0977068714

A bliss, journey through heaven’s door. Quiet explanatory in itself. Says all what cannot be said. What one wonders and ponders on their own. What happens after heaven’s entrance? One will continue to think this.

Wish I could be more helpful but I really don’t see any problems.

Good luck getting it published.  Christain magazines are your best bet.

That was lovely.  I wouldnt change a thing.  Well done!

I have to tell you up front that subject of this poem is not one I would normally read. To me, it is overtly Christian. That’s not bad thing I am one myself, but I normally do not take well to others ideas of the afterlife and religion and so on. Yet this piece fascinated me with it language so that I could actually listen well to your message. I think that is a great accomplishment.

Critically though I have to say I find the words slightly clumsy at times. Just pulling the words together a bit can give it more flow. That and careful word choice can make this poem even better. Exp…

“Where shall I stand the hour before
When coming to knock at Heaven’s door?
And what others’ eyes shall see
Visions of angels who come for me?”

I have added and subtracted just minutely, but it feels like a better flow to me. I suggest reading it out loud and then listening to it several days from now when the ideas are not so fresh in your head. You will pick up the flow better and be able to do this line by line revision. The poem is good in content, but needs slight tweaking to tighten up some slightly squeaky wheels.

I loved it, and even teared up. Please, don’t stop putting your mind into words for others to enjoy.