Thanks.
Humor/Satire / A good cup
Officer: May I wish you a good evening, and see you’re ID, please?
Killer: Er… nice evening.
Officer: And how nicer it could be by handing me your ID!
Killer: Er… I left in the apartment. Just nip down for a bit of fresh air, you see…
Officer: Just tell me how often you go to take the air with a pickaxe and a spade?
Killer: Well you know… One needs exercise. I says my self, pop down and do a little digging.
Officer: But here, in the garage?
Killer: Well… I mean… You know we haven’t got our own garden with the flat. Only garage. One digs where one could.
Officer: I see. And what are you actually digging?
Killer: Hole. If I keep up it can even result a pit.
Officer: I mean, why are you digging a pit?
Killer: Planting.
Officer: In the garage? What?
Killer: Something biennial.
Officer: What for?
Killer: Because for the second year I can move somewhere with a garden.
Officer: You were digging for a time, ain’t you?
Killer: Nooo… What makes you think that?
Officer: Because you standing in the pit up to your shoulder.
Killer: Wow… Clever. You are an old fox, aren’t you?
Officer: Your words, not mine!
Killer: You know what? I’m coming out and backfill it.
Officer: Oh no, I don’t want you to lose your pains for me. I merely want to escort you to your ID, and back.
Killer: No need to escort back though. All right, but let’s hurry.
Officer: I thought you’re in no hurry.
Killer: Yes, only I’m afraid someone might steal my pit.
Officer: Wait a minute! What’s that, on the bottom of the pit?
Killer: Where? I can’t see anything.
Officer: That long something.
Killer: Nothing. It’s too dark to see properly anyway.
Officer: It’s all right, I’ve got a torch.
Killer: Pesky.
Officer: What?
Killer: Nothing.
Officer: It’s looks like an arm to me.
Killer: No, it’s only a root.
Officer: A root? What here, in the garage?
Killer: The doorpost sprouted.
Officer: No, this is exactly a man’s arm.
Killer: Poor man, imagine he’s looking for his arm everywhere while it’s resting here all the time.
Officer: That’s not merely an arm, but a whole dead body.
Killer: So he did found his arm after all.
Officer: Tell me, how is it possible that you come down here at 2 a.m., crack the concrete, and dig a pit exactly where this poor chap lying dead?
Killer: By coincidence.
Officer: Just as I thought. Do you know him?
Killer: No.
Officer: A stranger then?
Killer: Rather! One thing for sure: he’s definitely not my ex business partner. Haha.
Officer: That’s not funny.
Killer: I guess he crawled in while I stopped digging for a fag.
Officer: You know, I’ve seen many dead bodies in my time who were very similar to this one. So I’m speaking from experience. Usually they don’t crawling that much. No, it’s much more likely that he is a fakir, who was buried alive forty years ago, only the stunt failed.
Killer: Well, if you ask me, I think, your theory sounds very likely.
Officer: So do I. Well, anyway, I take him with me.
Killer: May I call you Colombo?
Officer: I prefer Perry Mason. Mind you, refill that pit after you’ve finished, because someone can break one’s ankle, and then you’ll be in trouble!
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trav8434 reviewed Version 1 -
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Emilee reviewed Version 1 -
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thesnoopyone reviewed Version 1 -
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I think of British comedy—something out of Monty Python. Which in itself is quite clever. I found it amusing and quite entertaining. I can see where it would get a chuckle any where. Good Going.
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now_collapse reviewed Version 1 -
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Maybe it could be funny as a joke skit. The words would have to be changed to seem more casual, because it seems too formal. The storyline is potentially funny though. Try collaborating with someone who’s first language is English and get them to change it around a little bit.
cwhitsitt reviewed Version 1 -
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Cute!!!! As an American, I enjoyed it.
quaintfungus reviewed Version 1 -
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DCAllen reviewed Version 1 -
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OK. There are humorous moments: the casual and positive attitude of the killer, the obtuseness of the officer. This is a bit long and obvious in English. The joke here is that the officer is a gullible idiot, and the killer doesn’t have to try that hard to trick him. This would be funnier if the officer weren’t so easily tricked.
There are lots of grammar mistakes, but it gives it a foreign feel. So, that’s fine.
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