Poetry / She's a River (Analysis)

I love your use of imagery, particularly in the third stanza. The structure overall feels a little disjointed, and your rhyme scheme feels awkward to read, as though it was only a half-hearted effort—some parts rhyme, others don’t, and there’s no context given in the poem for why this could be so.

Wow.  Tantalizing, tittering, and beautiful. Very eloquent and graceful.  I really enjoyed this peice to be sure, and I can’t find much wrong with it, save maybe try to make all stanzas the same length? It would look more appealing to the eye as a whole.

But it could be just me too.

Dear poet,
You have expressed the emotions very well and I enjoyed this poem. Passion and control of the same aptly expressed. You have also added ‘Hollywood advert’ nicely for the reason of your passion other than beauty rtc.

Keep penning.

Took me a couple times reading this to really understand it.  
“To lust and sin after you  
Is more than a crime in itself ”...why?

a great snapshot of a moment in time – of a look inside this guy’s head…

i’m not sure what the reference to the “hollywood advert” is, but i really enjoyed the rest of your poem…

“Go ahead and walk by real slow
Only you can help me forget ” – i really like these two lines…  it kind of says it all for me…  it tells me of her beauty and it tells me what’s inside the narrator’s head…  good line…

she’s a river that flows on by and no matter how much the narrator would like to swim in her, he can’t/won’t…

no criticisms really…
enjoyed it a lot…

since I’m no publisher I would feel guilty in allowing a ten for this .

You mention lust and sin as being a crime.. this is a big truth
and at this moment in time this world is dying because they lack the truth..

“is more than a crime in itself”

May the forces of all that is true,, guide you in your quest of poetry .

Lookingbeyond