Poetry / The End

There are some REALLY good descriptive lines in this piece.

Nicely done. Full sails to you.

Heather
wordwan

I like the over all voice and images. For some reason the commas kept distracting me. Could you do without some of them?

Really scathing, and horrifying imagery. Reminds me of First World War poets like Sassoon and Owen. I like the ‘Hell is envious’ and following stanza, they suggest a real sense of hatred towards humankind and their uncanny ability to cause suffering, and also the link to god and religion because the devastation would be something previously only thought possible by an act of god. I think that maybe the first stanza is a bit contradictory because the prostitute is trying to hide something where as the stench of war is impossible to disguise.

Solid, interesting and evocative

I love it. Knowing you’re military brings an added dimension – it turns the poem from protest to first hand account. Nothing is rose tinted in this piece, and the reader has a barrage of images, all forming one larger panoramic image of you’re poetic battlefield.
We forget there are military poets still – just because trenches aren’t in France anymore.
Thank you, please add more.

This poem is fantastic, the fact that it is based on truth made me cry, I could never understand what it must be like, but your words are incredibly powerful. My mind visualized scenes that horrified me, yet i am sure, its no where near what it must of been like seeing it for real. jayne sterne x  

I found this poem very solemn yet loud.

I loved the imagery of war, death and suffering. and the broken phrases added to that sense of finality within the peice.

Very captivating read.

I’d say this paints a rather vivid picture.  You nailed the form, and phrasing, and you can literally see what you’re seeing.

Well done…

I think, and it’s just me, but it’s cool to see “man” and “God” with seeing religion taking over this piece.

WOW. That was absolutely amazing. I could see everything you were describing in great detail. You have done an absolutely wonderful job. :) Keep it up. I look forward to reading more of your poetry.

Ari