Journal, Diary, & Blogging / 6 Letter Memoir (Analysis)

What are emo people?

Ha! emo people. You’re probably right. You silly goose. Nice work. Very funny.

Exactly. True that.

Ha! So true.

And emo people write emo-po, and emo-po makes pepo fall in love. Emo-po, love, emo-pepo, emo-po.

And also teenage vampire poets.

I rest my case.

I have a few things wrong with this piece.

Starting with the grammar the sentence “I learned” is too short by itself. It would work better by adding a comma after learned before love instead of the full stop. This allows it to flow a little better.

Your second statement is well and truly completely false. If this is in fact a opinion it should be stated as one. I don’t quite understand your reasoning behind why you have chosen to state this. Usually there is reason applied.

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May 22, 2008

by thisisnotanexit

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the sentence “i’ve learned” is a complete linguistic entity. subject-auxiliary verb-participle. what more do you want?

adding a comma before “love” would result in   a phenomenon known as the ‘comma splice’, where two independent sentences are incorrectly joined with a comma. this is a persistent illiteracy: recommending it is not recommended. a colon would work, given that the two sentences are related such that the second expands on the first.

to say that the second statement is ‘well and truly completely false’ is as much an unqualified assertion as the statement you attack, if not more so…

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true (sometimes).

Exactly! Love that finds a soft target equals emo. It’s the hard-of-heart that don’t understand. Short and simple yet right on target. No crits, only praise. Would like to see a larger work expanding on your idea.

Interesting, but would probably work better in the quotes.  If you leave it here, I would explain how you learned that or why you believe that.  As it stands, it’s not really a blog because it’s far too brief.  It’s a quote.  
Overall, I think some people will heartily agree with this sentiment.