Children's / Billy Brewer Blasts Off (Analysis)

“Ahh”  Billy sighed as he slumped onto the sofa after a VERY long Day.  Billy, who is 5 years old, has been looking forward all day to watching his new favorite show “Senot Pepe Vs. Cluck Cluck The Wonder Chicken”  He was too excited to eat breakfast that morning, and too hungry to play during morning recess.  He has never watched “Senor Pepe Vs Cluck Cluck The Wonder Chicken” before because this is the first time it’s on, but Billy just knows that it’s GOING TO BE AWESOME!  Just as he turns on the TV his walks into the room.

“Time to brush your teeth, dear.”  His mother said.

“But Mommmm.”  Billy replied.

“No buts Bubba, time for bed.”  She said, turning off the tv.

“But, my favorite show is almost on.” Billy complained.

“I’ll tape it and you can watch it tomorrow.”  His Mom said.

Billy hopped off of the couch and stomped out of the living room.  He was NOT happy, but billy knows better than to argue with Mom.  He stomped down the hall and into the bathroom.  Just as he began brushing his teeth, his little sister Katie poked her head around the corner.

“Whatcha doin’?”  She asked, rubbing sleep from her eyes.

Katie is only three years old, and Billy loves her very much.  However, it seems like she’s there every time he turns around, and sometimes he just wants to be left alone.  

“You should be asleep.”  He said

“I was.  But then I heard you stompin’ around STOMP STOMP STOMP!”  Katie said, stomping her feet.

Just then Mom and Dad walk into the hall.

“Come on Katie, back to bed.”  Dad says, scooping her up as Billy and Mom walk into his room and pick a book from the many lived on his book shelf.  Twenty minutes later, Billy was sound asleep, dreaming about what it would be like to be all alone with no one to tell him what to do.  Long, long he dreamed.  He dreamed of spending many dozens of hours building the most awesome rocketship that the world has ever known.  He worked sohard, that he worked right through his nap.  Finally, though, it wss done.  Up, up, up he flew, flying high into the heavens.  He planned on simply taking a couple of laps around the moon, and then heading home.  However, since his Mom wasn’t there to make him take a nap, he grew quite tired and fell asleep before he had even reached the moon.  His ship drifted of course, and flew past distant stars and planets.  In his dream, he woke up just as his ship began to orbit the planet Saturn.

“Wow!” Billy said, looking at the colorful rings that surround the planet.

“Katie, come here.”  Billy said, forgeting that he was all alone.  You see, Billy wanted to show his sister the wonderful thing that he was seeing.  When Katie didn’t come Billy turned around.  It was at that very moment that he remembered that he was all alone.  He decided to keep traveling, and see many more beautiful things.  He hopped over to see the moons of Jupiter, and then swung past the big dipper.  He glided past planets big and small, and landed on them with no trouble at all.  So though, he grew lonely.  He missed his Mom and Dad telling him about all of the things that he was seeing, and he missed Katie, because well…he just missed Katie.  So, he turned his ship around and headed home.  Down, down, down, he flew and landed quietly in the backyard.  It was just then that he woke safe and sound in his bed.  He realized that it was all just a dream.  He lept out of bed, got dressed and bounded down the hall.

“Just in time for breakfast”  His mother, as Billy glided into the kitchen.

Since it was Saturday, they had a nice leisurely breakfast and then Billy settled onto the couch to watch “Senor Pepe Vs. Cluck Cluck The Wonder Chicken”  Just as he was about to turn on the TV, Billy realized that something was wrong.  He hopped off of the couch and went in to Katie’s room, where she was playin on the floor.

“Can I play with you?”  Billy asked.

“Yeah”  Katie said, smiling.  ”But what about your show?”

“I can watch that later.  I want to play with you now.”  Billy said.  Then, he sat down and played with his sister.

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curtis_irion avatar General Stranger

July 24, 2008

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June 12, 2008

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June 03, 2008

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May 25, 2008

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May 20, 2008

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pinestategal avatar General Stranger

May 04, 2008

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pinestategal reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

Hi I liked the story comcept but as you said You do have a few problems with editing.  I’m not going to use a bumch of your credits telling you what everyone else will, so I will just say that the story is a great way to teach children that what you wish for may not always be the best.  Nice Job

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Fezzik avatar

Fezzik

Age: 32
Loc: Knoxville, TN
Gen: M
Last Login: September 21
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