Poetry / The Children Wake in Frigid Fear
The children wake in frigid fear
Of noisy bustle and angry drill
As the cruel world stops to sneer.
Ripped from the arms of mothers dear
They weep in streets, sleep in the chill.
The children wake in frigid fear.
Within the crowd, they disappear
Begging for food or a dollar bill
As the cruel world stops to sneer.
They work the horde throughout the year
Stealing money for their fill.
The children wake in frigid fear.
Without homes, in frost severe
They huddle closer, growing ill
As the cruel world stops to sneer.
The ones who live turn racketeer
Prowling the city with consummate skill.
The children wake in frigid fear
As the cruel world stops to sneer.
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night ??? not.
I don’t like your repeating line. Frigid is not well chosen. Simply “Children wake in fear” would have been much more powerful or you could have qualified children. thin. cold. – anything that shouldn’t describe children.
This is a brave attempt to portray the street child;
who would not be “ripped from the arms of their mother”. More like thrown away by their mother.see research by PACT http://www.pact-online.org/html/child_rescue_alert.html
Well done for tackling that subject choosing this form.
A bit more research. revision. and it could hold a candle to Dai.
- add/view comments (0)
This poem seem to repeat the same statement over and over again, though it is not a poorly written piece, I as a reader would like to have more to chew on, if you get what I am saying.
i think you have chosen a unique topic, and established a good rhythm and rhyme, and the narrative tells a clear story. NICE JOB
good poem but the last line that repeats gets harsh on the tongue and mouth
Showing 1 - 4 of 4
Review item
Add to faves
GENERAL
REVIEW QUEUE
Ratings & Rankings
