Poetry / Isis, the ancient one (Analysis)

I think it’s very cute, but (at least to me) it doesn’t seem to flow very well. My Jay is very similar in temperment it would seem. I don’t know what changes to suggest, except maybe to flesh it out a bit more.

This is a poem that speaks true to your heart, and for that reason alone is perfect. I would like to invite you to read a poem of mine I have posted here entitled, “Our True Heaven”, which is about all of the animals that reside within me and my girlfriends house. Thank you for sharing this. :)

I liked the first stanza. I think you lost the rhythym afterwards. I decided to rewrite to show you what I mean rather than trying to explain:

Other cats she can’t abide
Dogs and people are taboo.
My hubby’s welcome on her bed
But others’ company she eschews.

My old puss is a birthday gal today
In her dotage I`d say.
At my feet, she howls and purrs
She’s a Siamese through and through.

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June 25, 2008

by wise2owls

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Thank you, yeah she is a crusy old puss.  Love her anyway.

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That is so cool to write an ode to your cat!
Siamese especially, you never really know what they’re up to!
Good poem, definately warmed my heart!!

This was good but you should add more detail.
Especially more detail of the cat because
I’ve only seen a siamese cat a few times
on television and you should add more imagery.
Otherwise I think this was a lovely poem.

This is relly sweet. What a nice ode to you cat. You could try less repetition on the fact that you cat is a cat becuase we are all really aware tat ou cat is a cat after the first time you told us. Perhaps you could try some personification or some metaphor so it’s less of a narrative. Good job.

the last line lacks punch  you need to think of something else
otherwise it just rocks

I appreciate your love of your cat, however this is not really a poem, but descriptive phrases.

Peace,
libramoon

I will say that it is original.. I like that it’s suppost to entertain, it just didn’t entertain me as much. It was cute, but not overally funny. Still, keep it up.

A sweet little homage to your kitty.