Poetry / The Essential Self

i beleive in this line you do not need the like in there

Bold lies paint spew from my lips (like so)

other than that i liked the idea it gives and is neatly written

Its okay but i’ve never really been into the whole overly metaphorical type of thing.

if you intended for the “id” as in meaning identity then I think you should type the whole word, which would make this piece much more publishable.

But other than that, I felt that your imagery and compairisons were excellent as was your word choice.

wonderful

‘Big things come in small packages.’
Short and sweet and yet SO much packed into just these few words.
I love it.
It makes me think of myself and all of the lies I’ve told and how I think of my friends. I DEFINITELY want to read more from you!

I get the picture.  The writer is saying he is all made up of lies and fantasies and does not expose his naked id self.  I am wondering what is all that awful about the naked id self – why such an elaborate cover-up?  Is the writer Catholic?
As a poem, it is not terribly impressive.  I have the feeling that the writer is holding a whole lot back and could write volumes about this, and I wish he would.
This is too short to really say anything.

Excellent.  Bullseye.  Not one wasted word.  My favorite line –
“though a glint of truth by chance may mingle with the mix,”.  Know what?  I just read it again for a fourth time and the whole thing is my favorite line.  This is a fine example for writers looking to see an example of economy  can foster bolds images and long trains of thought.  I’m requesting you as a friend.  Please accept.

LOVE IT!  Get it! Have to have it!  This is a really great poem!  I thought “Faceless” was great and this is even better.  It is short and direct and terrific!

“The essential self and soul of me you’ll never understand”...so perfect it rolls off my lips like candy!