Poetry / american road (Analysis)

I enjoyed reading this poem—though I was unsure if it was intended to be about searching for a woman, or just escaping everyday society by cruising on American highways.  I think that this could be a hit country song.

Good imagery.  This reminds me of the beatnik era of poetry.  It twists culture like a braid of many hairs.  I think this would also make a great slam piece but you might want to expand.  If you want a good look at some slam artists check – podslam.org.  Hope this helped I wouldn’t change a thing except L4-L5 it could be clearer about whom the author is speaking with.

Please immediately request a refund for this review.

Urbis has a bug and I can’t skip this from the top of my requested review list. I’ve tried getting in touch with them to have this bug fixed but it’s been ages and no change. Hence I’m trying to see if posting a review will get rid of it.

Nothing personal in the skip – I just know nothing about reviewing poetry. From an amateur perspective I like it, it sounds pretty good rhythm and pace-wise. You obviously know what you’re doing as evidenced by the reviewer notes. Much more than I as a reviewer do.

Please immediately request a refund for this review.

“As I, Burn into American highways’”
Is the comma necessary after ‘I’? Grammatically, I can’t see any reason for it.

I really liked the poem. It had a definite flow to it, and though certain lines seemed to long visually, they had enough internal rhythmic breaks that they could flow fine when spoken.

In the third stanza I feel like you need to hypenate the phrases in the 2nd line.

Loved the line: “fingers in my heart form into a fist and pound my chest” really powerful almost animalistic imagery an intereting personification.

I like the structure as it compliments the lyric like rythme of the beat.

The sense of momentum is built dramatically with the short lines in the final stanza and this is an effective climax asif the car is at high speed.

I like it. well done!

Keep writing!

Jordan*

Reminds me of good old fashion beat poetry, when traveling america’s highways meant something more than just a college road trip. as someone who gets on the road as often as his bank account allows, I liked this piece a lot. BUT. there was one line that stopped me, that brought a pause into the otherwise perfect flow of the story. ”...by the way baby, why are you trying to get a piece of mine?” I don’t know, it sounds…off. i’m sure it sounds better when spoken, and it definitely doesn’t stop me from enjoying the piece overall.
nice work,

zoli rozen
www.zolirozen.com

You need the road to move along but I think this poem is more about the vehicle, the sound system, the cabin to carry your babe in, the feeling of freedom as you speed around in your time out capsule.

I don’t usually review poetry, but I like this. It evokes the visceral feeling of being both somewhere and absolutely nowhere at the same time. This of course I’m referring to as being out on the great open American road.

The rhythm of this poem flows very nicely with both interior and outward rhyme.

American highways’ / highway’s  

I like the “Looking for my girl” stanza because it reminds me: What lust-filled guy hasn’t driven a few hundred or perhaps a thousand miles to see the woman he loves? I’ve done it. And with each passing mile my anticipation grew.

Wise decision to not stick solely with the rhyme scheme. This chops it up and gives the poem some texture—a little bit of an edge. Good work! Thanks for sharing.

-Curt