Supposed to be women; just a misspell. I didn’t think this was that difficult to understand, but apparently it is…
Poetry / Poem for a Folly (Analysis)
There croaked my wherewithal
When dames went Henry Ford
And they were all, like,
All alike.
What’s a miser of the past?
Answer: poverty and stupidity.
Retarded woman
Have dim fashion sense,
Redneck wardrobes
Breach the velvet performance
Of celebrity appearance
With thrift market collages.
The pot-bellied poor
Resist the waistline
Of homosexual visionaries.
Televangelist
Use bad wigs
And scary ties
To bring down-folk
Up to speed on the dignity
Of high tech thievery.
Failure
Is to homogenous fate
As air hammers are to concrete.
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black_butterfly reviewed Version 1 -
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Bendo13 reviewed Version 1 -
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TDavino reviewed Version 1 -
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derekosborne reviewed Version 1 -
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Nice. I got it. I imagine some others may not. Excellent level of diction and pacing throughout. No speed bumps, no misplaced judgement. Loved the opening lines. Good hook, though ZIO know that was not what you planned.
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ajanon reviewed Version 1 -
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I find the Title a bit deceiving. It is true about Ford cars and how you describe characters. Covering the essence of the poem in the title may need to be looked into.
The poem is very informative and your use of descriptives is not bad. For now consider how you might slow the pace saying the same things in a more structured rhyming way.
AthenaofStarlite reviewed Version 1 -
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I’m not sure if this was on purpose but a lot of your verbs don’t agree with your nouns…”Retarded womEn /Have dim fashion sense,” but “Retarded woman/HAS dim fashion sense.” I do appreciate the effect of “bringing down-folk/Up to speed…” but nothing else in this poem really spoke to me. There’s potential but you’re going to have to try harder than this… there were so many abstract, random assertions and insertions I was just boggled.
Deathsbuttercup reviewed Version 1 -
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I really like this poem and the style worked with the content. the only critque comes withe the confusion of the interpritation of these lines, “And they were all, like,
All alike.” I think you should omit omit one of the commas in the first line, or change it to “They were all alike, all alike” Repitition in that sense would make the poem more interesting.
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