Journal, Diary, & Blogging / My Goosebucket (Analysis)
And your smile makes me think that everything is going to be alright. You laugh and say my name and I know that you’ll take care of me. You think you aren’t strong, but you’ve probably never heard your own heartbeat. We whisper secrets and make up songs and come up with nicknames for each other. We make presents for no reason and sing whenever the mood strikes us. I love to play with your hair and I try not to because I know that it drives you insane after a while. It’s just one of the only ways I know to show you I care about you without saying it. Or when I touch your cheek. I love the way you look at me.
Do you remember rose petals? All over the floor. Blankets laid out in attempt to make it more comfortable for you. I had so much planned that I wanted to do, but I ended up with a migraine halfway through and just told myself to at least finish the bed on the floor before laying down. I fall asleep waiting for you, but when I wake your arms are wrapped around me. I’ve never felt so safe before. I want to continue laying this way with you, but one of us does something and the moment is gone.
I’d give anything to have that moment back again now.
What about the beach? When you came home from Florida and Valentine helped you pour the sand into a large bowl. You had me close my eyes before you led me to it and told me to put my foot in. You held me tight and told me to open my eyes. Valentine held up the picture of the ocean waves for me to see and my heart almost burst. No one has ever done something that amazing for me. We kissed and Valentine averted his eyes and it was perfect. I didn’t need a real ocean for that moment to be just right. Only you.
Leaf Blower Day. Now, I’m not even sure who it was that came up with the nickname. Probably me, because I’ve never been very creative. That was the start of everything. You batted your eyelashes at me and hid under the blankets and I don’t know what compelled me to respond the way I did, but I’m so glad it happened. Hence the best year and eighty-five days of my life. I wouldn’t trade that time for anything, but I’d give everything to have it back.
I lied about a lot of things, and nothing I can say or do will take any of that back. I want you to know, though, that not once did I ever lie when I said I love you and that I care about you. When I said you were smart, beautiful, and talented. I meant those things. I’m here for you and I still want to be your friend and I want to be so much more as well. When I get better, I hope you will give me that chance.
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
I could tell this was really true and you threw yourself into it… in that aspect it was truly beautiful. Brush it up with some more creative sentence structure and some better words/wordings and I think you’ve got something incredible.
<3 I feel your pain.
- add/view comments (0)
Finally, a blog entry on this site that’s decent. Really like this. Honest, heart warming, left with guessing why you broke up and why you need to get well. Excellent level of diction throughout, easily read and digestable, and for once an ideal blog length. Thanks. Hope you get better. Writing every day helps enormously. Take it from someone who knows.
I like this, it tells of unrequited love very well.
Hi,
I gave you a ten for your talent and a nine for your journal. I enjoyed reading this although it was sad dealing with the subject.
In the opening line of your journal, for me it’s worded wrong. I would probably have used ‘When you smile it makes me think that everything will be alright.’
I really hope that if you feel this strongly about this girl, you let ‘her’ read this. Your right, I was lied to in the past and it’s ‘really’ hard to erase that from my memory.
Best wishes to you and take care.
Very heartfelt. The last line”When I get better….” what a surprise. I did not expect the author to be sick or troubled or at fault so that was surprising.
“It’s just one of the only ways I know to show you I care about you without saying it.” – very good and “real” line…
“Blankets laid out in attempt” – in “an’ attempt
watch your tenses… you drift back and forth sometimes between presnt and past… pick one and stick with it… ”I had so much planned that I wanted to do, but I ended up with a migraine halfway through and just told myself to at least finish the bed on the floor before laying down.” – past tense… “I fall asleep waiting for you…” – present tense… see what i mean? these sentences were back to back…
the “ocean” scene is well written and very nice…
“When I get better, I hope you will give me that chance.” – wow… well THAT line left me wondering… better from what? what’s wrong with you? a good ending though, even if it did leave me hanging… that’s not necessarily a bad thing…
good job… keep writing!
The language use is haunting and beautiful. It expresses in a lovely way some very framiliar feelings. A truly enjoyable read. Do write more! Cheers
Showing 1 - 8 of 8
Review item
Add to faves
GENERAL
REVIEW QUEUE
Ratings & Rankings
