Poetry / Friendly Romances

For an early poem, this shows your promise. You’ve maintained your rhyme without losing the story. Good start.

Oh to be young and in love or what you feel is love!  Thanks for sharing this one!

I’m not really one to enjoy poetry, but this selection really did move me.  It’s what I now look for in other people’s poetry.

I felt that this piece was a little immature (sorry for being a dick) but thats only because of the wordage and rhyme scheme. I feel that if you took your talent out of the box, and realized that rhyme doesn’t make a poem great, developed some better wordage, this could be a much much better piece. Your emotions are clear and they are very powerful, but unfortunalty, this poem does not do them justice.

Keep practicing.

I can tell this must have been one of your first. The content is boring and it all came off as pretty trite to me. The rhyme scheme is predictable and, at times, very forced. Particularly when you restructure a whole stanza just to catch one, this appears clearly in stanzas 4 & 6. Keep writing.