Young Adult / The Beginning Of My Ending

It sounds like something that carries great potential. I won’t say that it’s a completely innovative theme but if it’s a story worth telling I’m sure it’ll turn out well. You’ll have to venture deeper than other stories in this genre to keep the content fresh and captivating.

thank you and good luck

I’m interested to see how this story progresses. I’m no longer in the “young adult” category, I don’t usually browse it in the bookstore, however, I find the genre to be important. It’s what made me love books, so I like to review and even write a bit of YA.

Like you said, backgrounds are never “great” just kind of a way to organize our thoughts out. So far, it looks to be an interesting story: parents who seem to be a bit of a shell of the person they once were, a boy who obviously means a lot to the unfolding drama, and the promise of a real experience.

Please let me know when you add more to this story.

i think this has the makings of a great young adult novel. and i love the name you’ve chosen, nidhyana. very original and cool!!! i think for an opening, it’s really good. great job!!

It’s a good preview of what’s to come but as a short story it doesn’t really grab my attention.  Nothing happens, you move and meet Aiden.  Who’s he?

Yours is a unique story, told with feeling. I would be interested in reading it all when published.

This does appear very rough in presentation. The first paragraphy doesn’t really fit in with the rest of the context. Maybe if you expand on it further in the beginning. Especially, “I first met Aiden when we were in Everston High School.” and there is no other mention of him at all after that. Maybe if you omit this line and continue from there it would help. Or even expand on the story line involving Aiden and how that affected what follows. I had a few concerns about certain lines as well, for instance, “She was part of the Bannock tribe, which are now a very small Indian tribe.” I’m guessing they have always been an indian tribe, so maybe the ‘now’ does not need to be there. Also, you reference to “our people” in regards to the antagonist’s mother’s heritage. Does she really associate with the Bannock tribe even though her/his mother was banished from the tribe? ‘Her people’ perhaps? Other than that this looks to be as start to a good teenage story. I’m interested to see how the Indian background will play into this. I also was curious, is the narrator an adult looking back at her life as a teen, or is she still one? It would be nice if the voice expressed this someway. Hope this makes sense and helps.

Its a good intro. But if you’re planning on writing a young adult novel of some sort it would be better to go into some minor details about some things. I.e. your fathers work, the tribe, and possibly how your mother looks…

Other than that, its a good intro into something that would be interesting to read.