Poetry / Nine Numbers

I wish you wouldn’t have told me it was our social, the idea of not being sure what the nine numbers are at first, is part of what makes it a good poem.  It forces the reader to think on it and sooner or later someone will remember this poem, and really think of what the nine numbers could be and when they find out, it will make it all the more clever.  I always figure if i have to clarify points (especially the main idea) to readers, then it isn’t ready yet.  Maybe add to concept of nine numbers.  As for suggestions sorry…your on your own.  i got nothing.  Never was much good wit numbers.  

Smart work

I had no trouble following you even had you not explained the SS number.

Poetry can, of course, take many forms, but usually imagery is at its heart. Other than the simile Like a new religion borrowing from the Ancients I had trouble with the lack of imagery. Your theme is interesting but I found the language more prose than poetry. I think it’s worth another shot with more provocative language.

Stargate

thought provoking.
” When we die
Is our number recycled? ”
that’s a crazy good question. i’m feel this.

I liked the style. Also, I thought that it had a powerful message in it. I can’t find much fault in it at all. good job. -Eve

this is an idea looking for a poem.  the nine numbers thing had potential but the language could have been more interesting…

I love that you were able to write about these ‘nine numbers’ and refrain from calling them what they actually are. Very good.

Ha. I like it. It’s very “witty” for lack of a better word.
I think it’s so true that out SSN is always called our “identity”, and it’s not who we are.

CharlesB, I did indeed understand you were referring to SS #s. Very catchy. You are fast becoming one of my favorite poets… on the list with myself, of course. Quite honestly, I do love your work. You are a true Poet. I’m very particular about saying that, but, for you… it’s true. Stormy Monday

Very nice. True and something to think about. Look forward to seeing more of your writting.

There aren’t really any errors to speak of but I must say that the flow of the poem is a little off. You make a really good and clear point but does it strike any particular emotion inside? I feel like there wasn’t really a connection wiht your emotion or passion. Perhaps if the flow had been a little more fluid… Good Luck.