Poetry / A Letter to Myself (revised)
Become dead in your dreadful soul!
You who have nothing to do but wallow in chaotic sorrow.
Years and years of impending doom, absent of life,
Absent-minded of the legacy you so longed to cherish.
Passing by is the time to fly, spread your feathered limbs,
And take flight.
Not too high, but with other birds you may soar,
Fly now or never more.
Make it known that you have been discrete,
In your inaccessible world of complacency.
Or just retreat, return to your pity and try to sleep.
In the alleys of your mind,
Where thought dragons keep you from rest and peace.
YOU! The extremist, take hold in your sightless quest,
Full of naïve ideas in this transparent reality,
Enter the realm of faith, believe in your tranquility.
Or become dreadful in your dead soul.
Is there nothing worse than the extremity of love?
Years and years, of unspeakable love, and the lack there of.
Only absent-minded of the attempts to be loved.
Opportunity awaits you, a leap of faith, open the door,
Or sulk forever more.
It is known by all that you are full of sorrow.
Leave it today and return with your head tomorrow.
Or just retreat, with only hopes to sleep,
For you went nowhere and found no peace.
You! The explorer, search the alleys and the skies,
Do not grow weary as you encounter demons and lies.
Or you shall collapse and lie still, left only with thoughts,
Of the visions, loves and dreams you never caught.
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I liked all the comparisons that you drew. I loved the image of becoming a bird, although common, you did it differently. I enjoyed it greatly. The only thing I would say to do, it figure out a way to make that first stansa two seperate ones. Maybe the first being the fist four lines and the second being the last ones?
I dont know, its just a thought, but I’m not a pro.
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Great lines and use of descriptive words. However I found it difficult to find the punch line which I crave for while reading poetry.
return to your pity and try to sleep…. I great line, however like most of the poem it seems to be all just thrown together with no particular stream of thought or structure.
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