Poetry / Ignorant Battle (Analysis)
Her Ignorance Makes Me Sweat
But The Work Out Is Worth
The Relief She Doesnt Feel.
I Battled Her Ignorance
With No Fear In My Eyes
No Tears Frome My Heart.
I Show No Weaknessses
Just Present An Ultimatum
That Can Hit Me Back.
It Was A Successful Battle
But An Unknown War
Being Faught With Nothing
But LOVE.
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As I was just writing to someone else, use capitalization sparingly, and only where it is necessary – to emphasize a specific word, at the front of a proper noun, or after any sentence-ending punctuation. Too many capital letters confuse the reader and detract from the important words and images in the poem. Avoid using lofty abstractions, like “love.” I want to know what love is specific to this poem, not some vague concept. You can show what it is by using images, descriptions, and symbols. Maybe love is a torn handkerchief that he slept with under his pillow for forty years. Maybe love, for her, is that paint-peeling windowsill she first looked out of and saw him coming up the walk. These are concrete images that say more about the characters than just “love”. Also, be careful to proofread before submitting anything to prospective publishers. An editor who sees “Frome” where “from” should be will never take the piece serious.
That being said, I think you have a lot of interesting concepts here, tons of potential and room for improvement. I hope you will continue to write. Best of luck. :)
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