Poetry / I know, though I intend to love you well (Analysis)

I know, though I intend to love you well,
in keeping with instructions from our Lord,
my erring, human nature will afford
a string of chances for the spirits of hell
to take advantage of my flesh, and dwell
within it — so those words I have abhorred
and sworn I would not speak may then be poured
out of my mouth, each one a loaded shell —
as yours are now.
                    I know it may appear
that when you injure me, I close my eyes
in anguish, hurt by one for whom I care —
but I can bear my wounds. You see a prayer
in progress — I am begging to be wise
enough to keep your pain from drawing near.

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biggun11w avatar General Stranger

June 28, 2008

biggun11w

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enamorado32407 avatar General Stranger

June 22, 2008

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dolphine32781 avatar General Stranger

June 03, 2008

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Elven_Vampiress avatar General Stranger

May 31, 2008

Elven_Vampiress

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Elven_Vampiress reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

An intriguing piece for sure, though a bit smashed to gether I think. It might help it flow a bit better if you play with the phsycality of this piece a little bit. It also seems cut short, like there was more to be said but that wasn’t. All in all a good first draft. Good luck with this one!

HipStar avatar General Stranger

May 22, 2008

HipStar

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Great job using such elegant words and still keeping it clear as to what you are saying.
You have amazing talent with this!

bittersweetmemory avatar General Stranger

May 21, 2008

bittersweetmemory

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kaos13 avatar General Stranger

May 21, 2008

kaos13

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hinairusu avatar General Stranger

May 20, 2008

hinairusu

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martykate avatar General Stranger

May 20, 2008

martykate

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martykate reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

This is hard for me to review.  I think I sense that the narrator is expressing a wish to love, an intention, but human nature is pulling her/him back from being the beloved that he or she would wish to be.  But the beloved is seen equally as having the potential to hurt, and the narrator prays as much not to be victim as he/she wishes equally to victimize.

Whew.  Felt like I analyzed a poem for a class in college.  You state your case clearly and you have set it within an interesting structure.  I am not really a fan of modern poetry, but you stated the case of your narrator well.

KesCross avatar General Stranger

May 20, 2008

KesCross

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AdonisCross avatar

AdonisCross

Age: 27
Loc: Miami, FL
Gen: M
Last Login: June 25
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