Limericks / Asses, Oh Man

second line should eliminate “an accent and”-it stops the flow and make the line too long. Topic is cute and original.

I like the rhymes that you picked for this piece. You created some good imagery, and I felt that you included the right amount of lewdness.

I thought that line two and line four were a little awkward and could use some work.

Good job, especially for a first attempt at limericks.

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May 14, 2008

by Smintboyuk

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
57	85.9% (85 votes)	5.5%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
34	M	Alexandria, VA	May 15

Thanks for the review.  I agree, it could be tightened a little more.  I may revise after it gets a few more reviews.

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I think this is an excellent limerick. It is risque and has a good punch line.
The only real problem I think is that line 2 is too long. I think it could be shortened easily just by changing it to “who met a Brit with accent and glasses”.
Other than that I don’t have any suggestions, it it really quite good.

If you’re the prize she won and this one is for her it’s totally wicked. That makes this a limerick with heart and soul to it, besides the regular humour. Still, am I wrong when asking whether or not the second line has too many syllables in it? (:

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May 09, 2008

by Smintboyuk

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
57	85.9% (85 votes)	5.5%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
34	M	Alexandria, VA	May 15

Yes, I gave this to her today after she got off work.  

You might be right about the syllable count, as I wasn’t counting.  I don’t think it flows too badly.  I didn’t know if syllables had to be consistent with the AABBA rhyme.  It was the first limerick I ever wrote.

Thanks for the review.

May 11, 2008

by SophieCostello

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
51	82.4% (17 votes)	30.8%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
20	F	Denmark	May 15

Well. I don’t know either – with the syllable count (though they usually have a certain rhythm) – but it’s nice either way.

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