Poetry / If These Scars Could Talk (Analysis)

I can relate to this one a lot.  I have several scars from life, physical and emotional.   There are uglier and more visible scars than mine to be sure but few that tell more of a story.  

I think your poem needs tweaking though, there are a couple places where the rhythm falters as either one too many syllables or too few.  

And, in the last stanza, third line from the bottom, I think the word you want is “ken.”   It means understand, empathise with, or the range of understanding.  And it would solve the one too many syllable problem in that line.

Good attempt.   Take some time to tweak it and I’m sure it’ll get as close to perfect as possible.

The poem develops well and has an interesting premise, but I feel like sometimes you’re making some awkward contortions to fit the rhyme scheme – for instance, the phrase “you must akin,” doesn’t make any sense to me. I would suggest changing the rhyme scheme, allowing yourself to be a little looser with it, or possibly ditching it entirely.

I think you have more give with this poem. This is a great start!! I just feel like it’s not finished yet. I Hope you get what I am sayin’

Good poem overall, with a couple of possible exceptions.  
Meaning is deep, the flow isn’t bad but in a couple of spots it feels too forced.  

i.e., Could you see the pain I’ve endured,
denied the joy that I am well dued?

and:
For their marks upon my skin,
tell of woes you must akin.

Your meaning is understood but feels coerced.  
I do think that a bit of revision will make this superb.

Good job.

Everyone can relate to this poem.  We all have scars, whether emotional or physical. People may not always want to hear about our scars, but that’s why we as writers get them out in a different way.  I enjoyed this piece.

Very good work. i am a little confused as to why you would say “would they show that i could not”.

Need to look over “would they show that i could not, denied the joy that i am well dued. Something to look over believes it’s better word choices