Poetry / My Grandmother (Analysis)

It is great for me to see emotion and real-life experiences in a poem; that is a great hook for me from the start. This piece is saddening and obviously means a lot to you.

One thing I would suggest is proof reading, there are some small typos that take away from the poem that could be fixed if proof-read.

Also, formatting is important, some lines could be moved around for more impact.

Some rhymes are a little simplistic, ‘sad’ and ‘mad’ for one, using words that rhyme in ways you hadn’t initially thought of is a reason why rhyming poetry is so artful.

Make some small revisions and this could be a great piece, you already have the emotion invested and it is still powerful. Keep up the good work!

first and foremost you should have said I lost someone not something just a little friendly note :o) and I’ve lost my grandmother too, some years ago and things went awry to an extent within the family, she was a vital piece to our puzzle and I can see your grandmother meant a lot to you as well… As for the poetry besides the few blatant mistakes I think you have something that can captivate a large majority of people… Everyone loses someone they love and when it’s someone really close to you, that makes it even more tough to deal with…

I lost something
That was very dear to me
My grandmother
Goodness gracious
what good friends were we… Move the last line down.

Ever since I was born…since the day of my birth

Then Gabriel blew the horn…then came the time she left this earth.

It’s a very deep felt piece.  I would like to see more visual things about her; her hair, what she smelled like to you…

You really didn’t lose anything…where did you come from?  She only shared herself until she was ultimately gone, she is a part of you…be happy.

That is a very sad poem and I’m sure it’s something everyone can relate to in some way. I lost my grandma in October so I guess I know how you feel.

I could really feel the emotion and sincerety through out the poem and I can really tell you wrote this from your heart.

If you don’t mind I just have a couple of suggestions about this poem in a gramatical sense.
Maybe it would sound easier if at the end of the first stanza the line said “good friends we were.”
Also, on the first line of the fourth stanza there is a typo.

Thanks for sharing.