Poetry / Comedy of Errors (Analysis)

I loved this piece.  It feels like a compulsive composition, but with a definite direction and message.  

My favorite thought is…

“Who controls the strings that may one day hang you
We created it with our own hands
spoke it with our own words
Lived it with our own minds”

This has a good amount of detail, but could use a rewrite if you wanted to solidify a few points, and bring everything together.

“Why” is always a good question to ask.

JPL

i can relate to this somewhat…the msg is clear and it does make sense.  it seems sincere but it feel like you can’t deal with the truth…i like it though because it’s like the begining of the end…cause there’s no answer to why?

Oh my… This was, simply put, amazing. I love the way you put it into a perspective that pertains to everyone. I liked your refrencing to robots, constantly doing and saying as we’re told, because that is so true. I loved it!!!

Gio

Yet we treat each other like animals
Yet we act like robots (That seemed strange)

The poetry was great, and it piqued my interest greater than anything that I’ve read on here, or as much.

Omly one suggestion: puncuation is key.

Nice job for on the fly.

It’s a strong brew of metaphysics and culture that inspires many thoughts.  After reading this, the next time I see the bumper sticker that says “If you’re not outraged, you haven’t been paying attention.” I will think, “Or, I can choose to laugh at this comedy of errors,” while trying to buoy myself up on the humanity that can stop the preventable errors, at least locally.

well, I think the poem touches on a powerful theme.  However, and you probably know this since you admit you “wrote it on the fly,” you have not brought many of the dimensions of poetry to the table beyond the central metaphor introduced in the beginning of life being a movie.  That is interesting.  Beyond that, you have room to pair down the lines and add, at the very least, interesting language and a couple of riveting images to help drive the poem.

I am compelled to point out, in line 9, “of an endless production” would be correct.  Assume it was a typo.

That much out of the way, I’d like to say that I liked this.  It’s “the human comedy,” as I believe it was Shakespeare who described it, or maybe it was somebody else.

The masks we all wear, the way we say “I’m fine” when we’re not.  The futile lives we hang ourselves with and strangle our best impulses with.

Yes, I do understand what you are getting at.  I hope it doesn’t make you too depressed.